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Month: March 2017

Our Own Worst Critic

I have become a fan of the show Z: The Beginning of Everythinga biography based series about the life of Zelda Fitzgerald.  (Season 1 is available on Amazon)  Recently I watched an episode where after receiving a negative review, F. Scott Fitzgerald is told by the critic, “Don’t take it so personal, I was reviewing your book, not you.”  As a writer, I felt stabbed in the heart when I heard those words, only thinking to myself how impossible it was to not take a review personal.  How ignorant the critic was to not know that most writers, most artists, pour themselves heart and soul into their work.  It is often difficult to separate one from the other.   On my Author Facebook page I even write that “I strongly believe that when you know an author, that you have a deeper understanding of their words and the meaning behind them.”  This is because somewhere even if it is in the depths of the unsaid, there is a part of the author within the words.

I felt plagued by this scene for a few days, but I know that I tend to be overly sensitive so I did my best to let it go. Until I felt the same stab to the heart in a scene of, my now favorite show on TV, This is Us.  (Seriously, if you haven’t seen this show, please do.  The extraordinary writing is only made greater by the amazing chemistry between the cast members.  I can’t get enough of it, honestly considered writing a blog just to sing their praises!)

 But, back to the point of today’s actual blog…..  There was a scene where the acting brother seeks a top critic to review a play that he is starring in and producing, only to be told that the critic considered showing up to witness the disaster of a sitcom TV actor trying to cross over into the drama of play acting.   The statement was so callous and mean, and most of all unnecessary.  There was another scene in this same show, this past week, where the mother is trying to break into becoming a professional singer.  Her friends are supportive of her “Singing Thing,” but think it would be wise that she keep her options open since the percentage of “Making It Big” are so slim and not everyone can live by pursuing their dream.

Yes, I know that her friends were just being realistic and Yes, I know that it is the job of a Critic to be critical.  It is a harsh business and why it is said that the most important thing is to develop a tough skin or you will never make it.  I guess, I just want to say that although some reviews are negative, they are helpful when given as constructive criticism.  And to the friends that are really only trying to be helpful with their sage advice, remember that there is a reason most artists choose to suffer or go without when pursuing their dream….. they can’t not at least TRY!  Knowing that if you fail, you did so having given your best shot and hopefully having fun along the way.

So, the next time that you are judging the work of a creative just try to remember that an Artist is usually their own worst critic, so Be Kind.  It is not only a writing, or picture, or performance but it is most likely a piece of their Heart!

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Adulting

TOP DEFINITION: URBAN DICTIONARY
Adulting (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups.
Used in a sentence: Jane is adulting quite well today as she is on time for work promptly at 8am and appears well groomed.
… And this would be why there are so many different meme’s with quotes of “I can’t Adult today,” “Adulting is Hard, Send Wine,” the positive meme to motivate “Adulting like a Boss,” and my personal favorite, “I’m Done Adulting, Let’s be Mermaids,” plus 100’s more.  Which I find ironic being that “Adulting” is not even a recognized word, grammatically unless you are a millennial and upon research is yet to even be established as a noun or a verb.
However, I relate to the context and like the term, so this is the theme for my blog of the week.  I could write for days about the responsibilities of being an Adult, or Parent, or a Single Parent  but we ‘already know’ so no reason to go there.  I am, instead, going to go a little bit deeper and talk about those times when you have to make a Choice; the really Big Kind, like Life Altering Kind!  The worst part about it is, since you are the adult, the parent, your ‘choice’ now affects all of those within your circle.
I have basically grown up in the military or with enough family support around me that My decisions were still Never really My Own.  I am now in a position in my life where I actually Am the Adult.  This means that what I choose is ‘Make or Break,.’ If my choice is wrong, it is ultimately up to me to Fix it.  Obviously as  a single mother of 4, we have had some big decisions along the way…..  I am just now being presented with one of those “once in a lifetime” kinda options.  I can follow my dream and jump in with both feet and hope that I catch the wave or at least swim in the current, knowing that there is no life boat in sight.  Or I tread, barely keeping my head above water…… waiting for another life preserver that may never come.
The Motherly part of me says to stay put, where I am familiar and safe, but the Adult side says that if I stay put, never to follow my destiny, I am already treading water and I have to agree…….. it goes fully against my nature to not follow my instincts.  I am a great mother, and I can say this with humility because my son’s are amazing, each in their own right but it is because of them that I know I can trust myself to do what is right and not second guess my decisions.
Adulting is difficult, more so, when you are responsible for more than yourself, but trust your heart, your dream, your destiny and don’t let go of your chance to make it.
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