This morning I woke up with the pull to write, to be honest, I haven’t felt that need for the past few weeks. It shouldn’t seem so surprising for a writer, but I’ve taken a step back from not only posting my words but even free creative writing of my own. There has been a lot going on personally in my life and my words were reflecting a tone that I did not want to portray.
Within the last month I am more rested, my days of recuperation nearly behind, and yet, the silent whisper of words to share was gone. The voices of characters demanding for their story to be told was non- existent, I was/am afraid that I had lost my passion for writing.
The fear grew stronger, as did my anxiety the longer it took for me to put pen to paper. I did try, but there just seemed like I had nothing to say. I certainly didn’t have anything worth anyone’s time to read. It got worse, as people begin to ask when I would write again. For some, the question was out of genuine curiosity as my site was dark, for others it was concern, knowing I am happiest when writing.
For me; Anxiousness and Self-Doubt was replaced by personal judgement and discouragement. I felt as if I was disappointing those invested in my future. I felt like a failure as a writer, and a fraud as I could no longer hear the call…. The struggle was real.
I knew the writing tips and tricks. The mantras, positive thinking, how to “Get Out” of Writers Block; but I had internalized all the negativity. I now read all other’s posts, blogs, books and convinced myself that I was wasting my time. I was never going to be as good as ‘those’ writers. I just didn’t have what it takes.
This morning, thoughts invaded my sleep, with a realization. My claim for AutumnBrookeOnline is to write from Heart, Mind and Soul, whatever that may be. I don’t have to be perfect, or even interesting, (although it helps). I just need to be me! Maybe I won’t have anything profoundly important to say, but if I feel it, I can write it and in my experience, your words may touch someone; today, tomorrow, or next year; but it is “You Being You” that makes the difference. Don’t focus on all the rest and find your inner strength within, only be exactly who you are….. that is when the greatness begins!
