The rain falling across the window pane matched the tears in her heart. She refused to actually cry and let teardrops fall from her eyes, but she felt them all the same. The harsh cruel words repeating over and over, it was impossible to erase them from her mind. It was painful but she needed to grieve for what was and what could have been and then let it go. It wasn’t easy, but nothing worth achieving ever is, or so they say. This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last but she refused to go down this dark road again, it wasn’t healthy. She almost didn’t make it back the last time. Shaking her head to try to clear the negativity she forced herself to get up. A silent scream of “Just Move” took over her being. Go for a walk in the rain, meet the kids at the bus stop, knock on the neighbor’s door and see if she would like some coffee. Do something, anything, she begged herself but it was of no use. She watched herself sit there staring as the rain washed down the glass. It was as if she was trapped inside her own body, the feelings of hurt, guilt, worthlessness weighing her down in a bed of nothingness. She was trying so hard to free herself from the mental chains but they were too heavy. Her children came home from school, excitedly talking about the events of the day and she acknowledged them with vacant eyes. She eventually did move, but more as a robot, following the routine of making dinner for her family, greeting her husband, allowing herself to become lost within her own mind. As the days passed the silent scream for help grew dim as those closest to her were unaware that she was trapped in a mental prison. Retreating behind a wall of fake smiles, empty hugs, and meaningless words became normal, as did the tears flooding her heart.
Maybe some of you can relate to this story from personal experience or you recognize some of the signs in a friend or family member. Depression is a serious mental health issue that can lead to suicide in 1 out of 10 people. It is often not recognized by many as the person doesn’t appear sick and may even seem social to most, however, that isn’t always the case day by day or hour by hour. Depression doesn’t discriminate by race, gender, or age but you can make a difference. Be actively involved if you suspect that someone might be struggling and find them help before it’s too late. Be kind, gentle, and supportive because what they feel is very real and your words or your presence may be all they need at that moment.
“You can #BeThe1 To help someone in crisis. You don’t have to be a mental health professional to help someone in your life that may be struggling. Learn the Lifeline’s 5 steps that you can use to help a loved one that may be in crisis.” http://www.bethe1to.com
“The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.” https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or Call 1-800-273-8255
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