Words of Heart, Mind, & Soul
This morning I woke up with the pull to write, to be honest, I have felt that need for the past few weeks. It shouldn’t seem so surprising for a writer, but I’ve take a step back from not only posting on my words but even free creative writing on my own. There has been a lot going personally in my life and my words were reflecting a tone that I did not want to portray.
Within the last month I am more rested, my days of recuperation nearly behind, and yet, the silent whisper of words to share was gone. The voices of characters demanding for their story to be told was non- existent, I was/am afraid that I had lost my passion for writing.
The fear grew stronger, as did my anxiety and don’t the longer it took for me to put pen to paper. I did try, but there just seemed like I had nothing to say. I certainly didn’t have anything worth anyone’s time to read. It got worse, as people begin to ask when I would write again. For some, the question was out of genuine curiosity as my site was dark, for others it was concern, knowing I am happiest when writing.
For me; Anxiousness and Self-Doubt was replaced by personal judgement and discouragement. I felt as if I was disappointing those invested in my future. I felt like a failure as a writer, and a fraud as I could no longer hear the call…. The struggle was real.
I knew the writing tips and tricks. The mantras, positive thinking, how to “Get Out” of Writers Block; but I had internalized all the negativity. I now read all other’s posts, blogs, books and convinced myself that I was wasting my time. I was never going to be as good as ‘those’ writers. I just didn’t have what it takes.
I woke this morning, thoughts invading my sleep, with a realization. My claim for AutumnBrookeOnline is to write from Heart, Mind and Soul, whatever that may be. I don’t have to be perfect, or even interesting, (although it helps). I just need to be me! Maybe I won’t have anything profoundly important to say, but if I feel it, I can write it- and in my experience, your words may touch someone; today, tomorrow, or next year; but it is “You Being You” that makes the difference. Don’t focus on all the rest and find your inner strength within, only be exactly who you are….. that is when the greatness begins!
#BetheBestVersionofYou, #InternationalWomensDay, #BeInspiredtoInspire, #AutumnBrookeOnline, #WordsofHeartMindandSoul
Today is the day, #sundayfunday, for our second book event. We will have books available for sale. A contest for a Queen Mary Day Pass if you Follow the Blog, And the 2nd Book of the series to show! The band has been moved indoors, leaving even more shade to enjoy as the kids run free. Grab your sunscreen and a picnic but All Beverages purchased on site, please! No Entry Fee! Come spend the afternoon with us, anytime 1-4pm, Engelmann Cellars
There she sits, total silence except for the occasional slap of water against the rocks. The sky is still black, although it is technically morning, but across the shore the buildings line the sky and water with light. This skyline backdrop isn’t your ordinary array of city lights, but filled with a variance of color, making it impossible not to stop and admire. In many ways the awash of lighted beauty frustrated her as it took her focus away from the water. The water brought peace to her soul, the stillness in its power completed her, like no other force on earth, and she craved to stand in it’s presence when her thoughts became muddled. It was hard to describe its soothing effects, all she knew is it worked and she was drawn to the water like a moth to a flame. This is why the lighted shore frustrated her. It’s beauty was undeniable, one of the most photographed backdrops she had seen, but it distracted her from being able to enjoy the steady consistency of the water. If she closed her eyes so the lights faded away she could hear the ripples in the current, a small splash to the right caught her attention in time to see a bird skimming across the surface. Maybe the shore lights weren’t so distracting because the glare they cast across the water allowed her to see that bird. Actually, they were all that allowed her to see the water at all, being that it was so dark without the lights causing the water to glisten, she imagined that she wouldn’t see anything before her. As she stared out at the shimmering reflection, the breeze touched her hair, she took a breath, and just listened to the water Play the Song to Her Heart!
I am choosing to believe that you all have suffered greatly from my lack of blogs and that there will be truth in the statement that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” It has been about a week since I have been able to stop and post, although I imagine something new to write daily. However despite my good intentions, I got caught up in my preparations to meet June Allen, an inspiration behind my first publishing, History Comes Alive Aboard the Queen Mary. I have mentioned before that I am writing a novel based on the War Brides that sailed across the Queen Mary after WWII and in my research I became associated with June. Strangely, (and fortunately, because it means my research was up to par) my main character in the novel resembles her life story. This only increased the bond I felt upon our conversations. When I learned that she was making a trip to the Queen Mary, I knew I had to meet her in person, and to my surprise I was also able to meet her son, Jim, who was a 1 year old toddler, as they sailed across the Atlantic. Meeting her will forever be a highlight of my life, a true living legend, an an integral part of our great nations history. I was happy that I was able to make the children’s picture book that is secondary to my novel, but could give her a glimpse of where I am headed in all that we have discussed.
After this iconical meeting, I came home to the first book launch for History Comes Alive, which although intentionally intimidating, was a success and a lot of fun. On the event page of the Blog, is the listing for the second event happening on June 14th at Engelmann Cellars, and will be a family friendly event, with live music, a little wine tasting, and tons of outdoor space for a picnic. I hope you can attend this Meet & Greet of author and illustrator!
Here are the new promotional cards for events. I like them a lot, they came out better than I expected, but it is a strange feeling to see your image so boldly displayed. I have always tended to shy away from photos, history has proven that I don’t know the “right selfie” pose to do myself justice. I tend to be the one slouched in the group, or laughing too big, or even with eyes closed. I can distinctly remember two grade school years where my school ID had closed eyes. My picture history guarantees that you will see just my head in the back of a group shot in order to avoid embarrassment , now I have a logo, a brand, not only of my name but my name in my self image. I couldn’t say No, because I thought the concept was so cool, and I really am trying to gain that self confidence that lies within all of us. We all have it, but often we fake the appearance of being independent and confident, maybe even needing a new selfie to gather admiration and a false sense of approval. With social media, there are not as many “hidden family secrets,” and we put our lives completely on display, sometimes unknowingly or unwilling. I may shy away from pictures, but I have also never been one to change my image, or completely filter pictures that would be used, simply because I believe “what you see, is what you get.” I am more afraid of someone judging a pretty picture and being disappointed in person, but for me that goes beyond physical looks, and more of my character. I need recognition and positive reinforcement for a job well done. I always have, and it may be because I am an Only Child. I feel unsatisfied in a project without a pat on the head and I don’t want to be that person. We need to be appreciated, acknowledged for our good deeds, but knowing our self worth is a treasure worth more than words. I think this is especially true for women. So often, I hear that they don’t feel valued. That they may as well be the maid, or a piece of furniture in their home. Women do so many things for so many people that make not just households run, but communities, cities, states, the world. Yes, this is true. If women (mothers, sisters, aunts, girlfriends, wives) did not take care or teach men, children, other women, how to cook, wash, launder, give that sensitive maternal instinct that we, people, need than the world would not function as well as it does. This is a weight that women bare, and we wouldn’t know how to stop if we wanted to. This weight equals strength that is immeasurable and by such, proves that our worth is just as incomprehensible. So, although this post may be controversial to some, I am sticking with it tonight, and say being a Woman truly Rocks!
I don’t like silence while I am working, put it down to having a house full of little boys, I think better among the chaos. This being said, I tend to throw on a movie while writing, working, or even thinking and this is often how I catch up on the new releases. The other night I watched McFarland USA and I loved it, of course, I enjoy most Kevin Costner movies, but this movie had all the action, comedy, drama, to keep me entertained throughout the whole thing. I was surprised that there was not more of a buzz about this movie, either people haven’t taken the time to watch it or our world has become so “Hollywood” that we have lost the heart of America. I don’t follow the Kardashian’s or Bruce Jenner, but because of social media, I know more about them than I care to admit. Yet this movie about small town America and boys that worked hard to achieve and make a difference in their communities has fallen by the wayside. However, I know that this is just the way things are nowadays and not really the point of my post today, what made me want to comment was that I cannot believe there was no Fresno love for this movie!! The movie itself, involves the Central Valley, but two of the young men from the movie graduated and went on to Fresno State, yet still no mention across facebook or twitter about that simple fact. I have lived around the world and Fresno is one of the proudest cities I know, but no love for a heartwarming, family oriented, rise from the ashes movie that not only put McFarland on the map, but acknowledges the higher education and successful athletic department of Fresno State University. Let’s give credit to the underdogs, support the community, and make our hometown famous for the good, not the negative statistics that most people associate with Fresno.
I can only hope that maybe you have missed me but I haven’t been far, this is a picture of us (my illustrator, Gabriel and I) with Aisha, a wonderful marketing director at a strategy meeting. Three minds are better than one as we came up with ideas for promoting and energizing each other for the hard work ahead. I have to say it was productive as we have two dates and locations in the works for the book launch/signing and meet the author events. Also hope to announce a few brick and mortar locations that you will be able to buy the book in the near future. Thank you again for following and although I haven’t posted I have been writing, as always, words from my heart, mind, and soul!!
We have all been taught that ‘Actions have Consequences’ and that has certainly proven true in my life. Most of the time these are negative, due to lack of consideration on my part and not thinking ahead of how my action may reflect on to another person. But, some times those consequences turn in to positives by creating a learning lesson. For example, my son chose not to do his homework and was forced to go to homework detention. He knew that his action would cause that end result, and apparently was willing to accept that consequence. What he didn’t know, was that I would refuse to pick him up and he would have to take the late bus home. My response to the situation changed his behavior as he now knows that I won’t readjust my schedule for his bad action. If we take action to remove negative actions that oppose our sense of well being we will be happier in our lives and able to continue with daily activities with positive and productive results. Take Action, Take Notice, Find your Inner Worth!
This blog began with a biographical post titled Who is Brooke, but it is a generic gathering of words. It certainly does not get to the heart of who I am, and I strongly believe that when you know an author that you have a deeper understanding of their words and the meaning behind them. I write with a purpose, or at least I try to, I hope that my words unite people either because they relate to what I am saying, or simply because it is a funny tale that brings a smile to their face. I know that I haven’t written a post on this blog to make you laugh yet, but my daily interactions with these four boys could give me a lifetime of fodder by just relating the anecdotes of being their mother. Yesterday was the tenth birthday of my second son, and it was a full day of me running behind, chasing my tail. Presents to wrap, Balloons to inflate, Decorations to put up, and a trip to the store to buy a cake and cookies for his class. As I went through the grocery store line, I must have presented that harried image because the clerk asked how I was with an actual concerned tone, that made me answer with the truth, “I am rushed as it is my son’s birthday and I need to get these cookies to the school before his class ends.” She looked up at me, and said, “At least you aren’t having to bake too.” It was salt on an open wound, because I was already dealing with the “guilty mom heart” of how I wished that I could bake a cake worthy of his birthday. I am a decent cook, but baking is not my forte. I was also feeling bad that I wasn’t delivering cupcakes but cookies to his class, but with 36 kids to feed, cookies were a better option. The day continued without further incident, and my little one was happy as he thanked me for his birthday and said it was a great day. I laid in bed that night thinking over the events of the afternoon, and realized that I made everything a bigger deal in my mind than it needed to be, which we tend to do as women. Gabriel didn’t care about his cake, as long as he had one. He would have been happy even if I did bake a cake, that was frosted atop the 9×11 pan, and the cookies were a hit, probably because they weren’t the stereotypical cupcakes. As mother’s, and people, in general, we need to give ourselves a break, and not make things so complicated; and that is the Girl behind the Words. I stress, over think, run late, can’t bake, or cook from a box, but I can cook a meal with 20 ingredients from a cookbook, and then wonder why my kids ask for pizza. I take the road less traveled, but I am learning to be proud of it and am actually starting to really enjoy the adventure. If nothing else, I will have a story to tell when sitting in a retirement home wondering when my boys will come to visit.
In this process of marketing myself so that I can promote my book, I have gone back to the platforms of social media sites long forgotten to breathe new life into updated profiles. This brings me to ask; What are your favorite, can’t live without, social media sites? What are the sites that you don’t care about anymore or haven’t even attempted to use? I can say that there are sites out here that I did not even know existed and I thought myself savvy on at least being “in the know” even if I never tried it. I know that people tend to use various sites for different reasons, or to connect with different genres, but when are we “too plugged in?” It is true that with the push of a button you can now post once and connect to multitude of sites simultaneously but to not be viewed as just a poster, never connecting to your followers, it is important to visit the site and read, comment, like, and share. All of this takes time. Time that we are not interacting with the real world, with people right in front of us everyday, the little people that see us, hear their stories while typing or reading at our laptops or phones. I used to be very guilty of this, especially when I was going to school and doing homework. I am better now, but know that it still happens more often than not, and I know it happens to many of you too. So today I challenge each of you to take a moment and turn away from the screen and don’t just hear the person in front of you talking, but truly listen to them. Look at their facial expression as they speak, and if it is one of those little people, see the smile in their eyes as they know you really see them. Then tell me about it, as you share your favorite or least favorite social media site! Be it #facebook #google+ #instagram #twitter
We spend our days complaining about how difficult our lives are and why it is that we always take the path less traveled. It is because without complications to overcome, we do not appreciate the blessings in our life. We need that sense of accomplishment, but is it because we don’t feel that we deserve for good things to happen to us, if we didn’t earn them? I would like to think that isn’t the case, but as I have contemplated why I make things so difficult for myself, I believe it is because deep down, I need to feel that I worked hard for the good things in my life. I don’t want to say anything was ever handed to me, we have an infinity for the underdog, those that have come from the bottom up. Is it a matter of respect? Is that fair? Just because you come from “nothing,” that makes you more deserving for the amenities life has to offer? That is absolutely not true, because somewhere along the way, someone in that family did work hard for the blessing and benefits. This occurred to me as I was teaching the boys that they needed to work harder if they wanted a reward. This could be allowance, dessert, a trip to the park. The chores need to be done, good grades on homework, ect. I won’t stop telling them this, because that is just the way life works, but does this mean that I am also instilling this belief that they will need to take the harder path because that will make them more deserving of life’s blessings? My hope is that they learn the meaning of hard work, and that they won’t shy away from a complicated situation but that I will also one day be accomplished enough to give them things that I haven’t been able to over the years. I do not want for them to feel that those things are less worthy simply because they feel that they weren’t earned. However, with all that being said, I do think that the road less traveled, takes us on adventures that bring meaning to our life. Challenges us in ways that keep us constantly moving forward and striving for bigger and better.
