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Category: Mom

The Best Tribute I Can Give to My Mother on the 10th Anniversary of Her Death, this Mother’s Day

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 13, 2023

Another year, another Mother’s Day, has become one of my least favorite days of the year since my mother’s passing. She left us just 24 hours after her last Mother’s Day but for some reason, I am always able to forget the actual date until the season comes. A few days ago I was struck with the realization that this year, this Mother’s Day coincides with the 10 Year Anniversary of Her Death. That definitely hit differently. Ten years that she has been missed at family milestones and events. Memories that have been created without her. 

As I have been processing how to go about the day, and how to feel or react, a friend of hers sent me a message on Facebook. She received a screenshot of her memories that included a comment from my mom and she thought that I might appreciate it. I love seeing old comments or memories of her so she was right, but I don’t think she knew just how special this one would be. It struck me at first because Tammy’s memory was her actually Remembering the 10th Anniversary of Her Mother’s Death. I honestly don’t think when she shared it with me, she was even aware that this will be my mother’s 10 years. Quite a coincidence, but who says God doesn’t have a sense of Humor? 

The comment to Tammy from my mother, Katherine, was able to change my mindset and give me a different perspective. The sorrow remains the same but knowing her love for me soothes a little of the pain. My mother had written that “Our children are the best tributes we can leave of ourselves!” I am my mother’s Only Child, so in her words, I am her tribute to the world. As a mother myself, I understand that I have raised my sons to be the best versions of themselves and a value to the world. I just never thought about that my mother did the same with me. 

I have tried to remember all the lessons she taught me over the years and the wisdom that I gained from her that I try to pass on. So, this Mother’s Day I will remember that although she is not physically here with us, her legacy is, as I am here, “her best tribute’ and her grandsons continue to carry on for generations to come. 

Thank You, Mama, Happy Mother’s Day! 

I hope this blog post may help you appreciate the legacy of your mother or the mothers in your life. If you have any stories or thoughts to share, please leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.

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2020 Seniors

Published by Autumn Brooke on March 17, 2020

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This world of ours is in such a crazy place right now that it is hard to plan not just for tomorrow, but even for several hours from now. That is how rapidly things are changing. I think about how I was overwhelmed with how much there was to do and schedule for my family of 7 that I had a huge wall calendar with all our events, plus my purse calendar. This doesn’t count the tasking app on my phone, or the list stuck to the fridge because we have a Senior that had 3 months of deadlines and activities given to us by the school.

He is my firstborn, I have been dreading this time of our life as much as I have been looking forward to it. My baby will graduate High School, the final stepping stone to adulthood.  He has earned it, more then deserves all the fun and excitement that these last few weeks would entail. However, that is not to be the case, as one dance has been canceled, most likely Senior Prom too, and the possibility of not walking for a graduation ceremony.  These activities are rites of passage, I have been talking with him about them since kindergarten. My heart breaks not only for him and all Seniors but for us parents as well. We Did It! We made it this far and deserve to see our babies enjoy these final days of their childhood.

For some, it will be the last time they may ever see their friends as most are headed off to different colleges, vocational schools, or even jobs. School had become a joyous place with special events, breakfasts, award assemblies, activities designed specifically for the Senior class. What happens to the yearbooks, the dated announcements already ordered, for a few around the world Prom was already canceled with clothes never worn. That first dance with a long-time crush never experienced.

I don’t understand, nor do I know how long all of this might last, but I do know that this generation of Seniors is different than my Senior Class. We did not have access to technology and understanding that makes all of you a different breed. A group of adults that will be able to not only fix what we have lost but make it better. We will need you as if you have needed us. I believe in you and our future knowing that you will be the generation of reform and rebuilding.

Class of 2020, you are not forgotten and our heart breaks with you, but at the end of all this chaos, you will be the ones that make the biggest impact!

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Dedication, Consistency, Restoration

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 5, 2017

Happy 2017!  I have never been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, choosing instead to constantly push myself towards the positive which ultimately means changes occur within my life all year long.  One of those, I am dedicating to the New Year and that is stated within the above picture.  I am committing myself to posting a new blog each and every Wednesday.  This may not seem like much of a challenge to many of you, but I posted in July of 2015, titled Worst Blogger Ever, because I recognized that consistently writing on the blog is difficult for me.  It is not that I don’t write, or have anything to say, it is simply taking the time to make it worthy for my readers.  I struggle with knowing that the content that I put out is intriguing enough to be shared.  

I made a personal choice this Holiday Season as I sat down and evaluated what changes I need to make within my personal and business life so that I truly can #BeInspiredToInspire.  I realized that I was finding myself in a rut.  I have been focused on the novel, turn screenplay, Brides Aweigh and in order not to distract myself from this unbelievable opportunity, I’ve stepped back from a lot of my free writing and I believe that this has unfortunately separated me from my blog.  However, that is not good for me, nor my followers.  It disconnects me not only from my readers but also from myself.  

Writing for me is my way of finding ME Time in the midst of being a Full Time Single Mother of 4 Beautifully Busy Boys.  I have adult conversations by sharing my blog with the world even if it is only for a few minutes a day and I owe it to myself to stay Dedicated and Consistent in order to Restore myself to remaining AutumnBrookeOnline.  I was inspired to start up this blog on the continued request of my mother.  She told me repeatedly that my life was full of enough fodder to maintain a blog and it wasn’t about the content as long as I was writing.  So, with that being said and by sharing this post, I am dedicating myself to all of you and me too.  I will trust that you will hold me accountable by checking in every Wednesday to see if I have indeed succeeded in Sharing My Words; Heart, Mind, & Soul with all of you.  Here is the First for this Weds of our New Year…….

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Letter to Heaven

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 12, 2016

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This is a different type of blog for me, but after realizing that today was the One Year Anniversary of my blog and that my first post was one for my mother, the following felt appropriate to share…..

A few months ago, I lost a mentor to a long, but courageous, fight to cancer.  Watching her journey was awe inspiring as I had always admired her but now witnessed her strength on a completely different level.  About a week ago her husband made a Facebook post about how he had taken the time to write her a Heavenly Letter as recommended by his grief counselor and how he found it extremely therapeutic.  It struck a chord within me as the anniversary of my mother’s passing was also quickly approaching.  I still have such a wide range of emotions when I think about her that I thought the idea of communicating them through not just words, but a personal letter, might be just the trick to help release some of the pent up grief, frustration, sorrow I feel when it comes to her.  I do not think that there is or should be a time limit to grief, especially as I don’t believe that it ever really ends.  I believe that we just learn how to better cope, and sometimes mask the pain until we can deal with it.  Some days are just going to be better then others and that is okay, as long as we make a point to continue living and find joy again in the world around us.

I am going to share my letter with all of you.  I think it did help a little bit as I enjoyed the feeling of talking to her, but I know that I did not fully vent all of my emotion.  I am sure that I will try the letter thing again, but maybe not anytime soon as it does bring a lot of feelings rushing back.  I’m in the process of learning how to use those vast emotions for good.  I want to help other people know that we are never fully alone, somewhere there is someone feeling just as you feel and that there is Healing within Communication.  We need to reach out and draw strength from one another.  Isn’t that essentially what Facebook and blog posts are…?  A social media site to connect with other likeminded individuals?

Dear Mom,

          This Saturday, 14 May 2016 it will be three years since you left us.  I try not to dwell on how much you are missing here on earth, but that can be easier said than done.  I am often told how you are happier in Heaven but honestly that never makes me feel better.  Actually if I am completely honest, that thought makes me a bit angry.  I don’t want you to be happier in Heaven, I want you to be here with us.  I want to talk to you, I want to see you, and I want you to be there for all the boys’ events and life milestones, no matter if they are big or small.  I hate that you left us so soon, and even more so when I know that I never got the chance to say Goodbye.  Maybe I am being selfish, but I don’t care, I think that in this situation I am allowed to be unreasonable and selfish.  I just want to have you back in my day to day life.  You used to be the first person that I called when I was upset, scared, confused, or happy.  I miss your advice, your jokes, and even your bad days.  I know that things got hard in the end and that I was often frustrated with you.  I am sorry for that, it was really never you, but the circumstances.  I know that you were just as frustrated at being trapped in a body that no longer worked as your mind did and that is my only silver lining in knowing that you are no longer in your earthly body. 

I miss you everyday mom, and I pray that you can are able to see my accomplishments and even my sorrows.  To feel that you are still present in my life and supporting me from Heaven helps.  You were always my biggest cheerleader and fan.  You were the first to teach me the concept of Unconditional Love which is the best gift you gave me in life. 

I love you and hope that I will continue to make you proud as I celebrate your life and honor you by being the very best Me that I can be! 

Forever Your Girl………..

 

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Love & Loss

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 15, 2015

Today is the two year anniversary of my mother’s passing and I have debated all day about posting or what to post.  I didn’t want to write and share only words of sadness.  It was then that it occurred to me that every one has a tale of woe, some much worse or sadder than others, but that is what connects us all as people.  I thought about the response that I received on my Mother’s Day Tribute blog and realized that is where my voice is, what gives me the strength to write from my heart, mind, and soul.  I share, and hope that people identify with what it is that I have to say and maybe it will bring joy or solace to those that read it.  So, with that being said, I found a piece of myself today and may not be nearly as lost in my loneliness as I assume, because we all have loved or lost in some form, some way, at sometime.  I have posted before on my mother’s page that ‘I’m not trying to learn how not to miss you, I’m trying to learn how to live life while missing you’ and that has become a mantra for my life that I would like to give to others dealing with how to move on.  I cannot go a day without something reminding me of my mother and I am okay with that because the things that drove me the most crazy about her are the things that I miss today.  She instilled greatness in me by all the good works she did, and although she set the bar high with her expectations, I will live up to her standard, knowing in all that I do, I follow in her footsteps, hoping that when my time on this earth is done, that I too, leave a legacy for others to follow or learn from.

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A Late Mother’s Day Tribute

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 11, 2015

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and it was the second year without my mom, and the third I spent as a single mother.  It was a day I think that I always took for granted before my life turned upside down because now I see this day in a completely different light.  There was no mother’s day brunch for me, no breakfast in bed, or fancy dinner, but there was laundry, cat litter, and a multitude of left overs to choose from.  I am not too proud to say that I did have myself a pity party as I saw the social media posts of people spending time with their mother and then home to the loving arms of their husband and children that spoiled these deserving mothers with gratitude and appreciation.  However, today I can say that I know I was not the only one to have these feelings yesterday and they are not wrong or right, but simply what is…..  Being a mother is one of the best jobs ever, but also one of the most thankless and that is okay, because one day my little boys will be grown men and will remember the sacrifices that I made.  I hope that the time, energy, love, and support I provide them with, strengthen their characters into men that know the meaning of self sacrifice and commitment.  Mother’s Day was about all who are emotionally invested in another human being, nurturing them on this miraculous journey we call life.  Single Fathers, Single Mothers, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, Teachers, Friends, Relatives, all can take on the mothering role that some may not have experienced until they were adults.  Life is not fair, and as I missed my mother because her presence is no longer on earth, others missed a mother that they may never have known.  It is a celebration of dedication and commitment to the well being of another person.  Happy Mother’s Day to one and all!

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