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All’s Not Lost

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 26, 2018

The rain falling across the window pane matched the tears in her heart. She refused to actually cry and let teardrops fall from her eyes, but she felt them all the same. The harsh cruel words repeating over and over, it was impossible to erase them from her mind. It was painful but she needed to grieve for what was and what could have been and then let it go. It wasn’t easy, but nothing worth achieving ever is, or so they say. This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last but she refused to go down this dark road again, it wasn’t healthy. She almost didn’t make it back the last time. Shaking her head to try to clear the negativity she forced herself to get up. A silent scream of “Just Move” took over her being. Go for a walk in the rain, meet the kids at the bus stop, knock on the neighbor’s door and see if she would like some coffee. Do something, anything, she begged herself but it was of no use. She watched herself sit there staring as the rain washed down the glass. It was as if she was trapped inside her own body, the feelings of hurt, guilt, worthlessness weighing her down in a bed of nothingness. She was trying so hard to free herself from the mental chains but they were too heavy.  Her children came home from school, excitedly talking about the events of the day and she acknowledged them with vacant eyes.  She eventually did move, but more as a robot, following the routine of making dinner for her family, greeting her husband, allowing herself to become lost within her own mind. As the days passed the silent scream for help grew dim as those closest to her were unaware that she was trapped in a mental prison. Retreating behind a wall of fake smiles, empty hugs, and meaningless words became normal, as did the tears flooding her heart. 

Maybe some of you can relate to this story from personal experience or you recognize some of the signs in a friend or family member.  Depression is a serious mental health issue that can lead to suicide in 1 out of 10 people.  It is often not recognized by many as the person doesn’t appear sick and may even seem social to most, however, that isn’t always the case day by day or hour by hour. Depression doesn’t discriminate by race, gender, or age but you can make a difference. Be actively involved if you suspect that someone might be struggling and find them help before it’s too late. Be kind, gentle, and supportive because what they feel is very real and your words or your presence may be all they need at that moment.

“You can #BeThe1 To help someone in crisis. You don’t have to be a mental health professional to help someone in your life that may be struggling. Learn the Lifeline’s 5 steps that you can use to help a loved one that may be in crisis.” http://www.bethe1to.com

“The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.”  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org  or Call 1-800-273-8255

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Keeping History Alive

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 12, 2018

This past Sunday, January 7th was the 75th anniversary of the Golden Globes.  Surprisingly there was not a lot of fuss made over the fact that it was a significant anniversary but I believe that was due to the attention given to the #MeToo and #TimesUp campaign.  The acceptance speeches typically filled with gratitude and thanks were instead used to advocate women equality.  Although inspirational, that is not what I found most interesting about the awards.  What really impressed me were how many nominations there were for feature films and television shows that are paying tribute to people and events of the past.  I have a passion for educating our future generations about the details of our rich history and to have these characters and stories be recognized as some of the best in entertainment is very exciting to me.   Some of those that were nominated were Darkest Hour, Dunkirk, The Crown, Handmaids Tale, and Mudbound.  All are based on true accounts of real people and events.  To imagine the extraordinary circumstances that people lived through puts my life into perspective.  I am forced to realize that my daily struggles fail to compare to those that have had such an impact that their stories are still being told years later.  The likelihood of me ever doing anything remotely as influential as those shared in these few stories is pretty much non-existent but I do hope to contribute in my own way to our world.  As a writer that strives to Keep History Alive, I also use real events and people to influence my work.  Creating characters of those that have already lived through the remarkable and are just waiting to share their experience.  Actor Gary Oldman won a Golden Globe Award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama with his portrayal of British Prime Minister, Sir Winston Churchill in the film, ‘Darkest Hour’.  In Oldman’s acceptance speech he stated; “I’m very proud of ‘The Darkest Hour’. It illustrates that words and actions can change the world.”  I will continue to write, to share my words with the world so that however big or small, I too, can make an impact to create change in our world.

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Soul Resolution

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 4, 2018

With the New Year upon us many people find themselves making a resolution to better themselves.  We’ve all read them, we’ve all made them and most have broken them.  Eat Healthier, Exercise, Quit Smoking, Make More Money, Save More Money, Spend More Family Time…… the list goes on.  Trying to be a better person for ourselves or our loved ones is essentially the goal, but I challenge that in order to fully maintain these lifestyle changes one needs to Impress, Accept, and Love Yourself.  Give credit for your accomplishments, such as achieving certain life goals but realize that the happiness in that milestone achievement is not sustainable, because in order to feel fulfilled we need to progress. This means a lifetime of constantly learning, growing, and changing. Daily Self Improvement so that we may become the best version of ourselves.  It is when we are really focused on our-self that we find are true potential and it is only then that we can give of ourselves to help better others.  I use a hashtag in most of my posts; #BeInpiredtoInspire, if I am not positive, motivated, inspired then I am unable to bring those attributes into the lives of others.  My desire is to be my best self as a model for my children and encourage them in all aspects of their life. It is the simple Law of Attraction, good brings good, so Refresh, Recharge, Refocus on You and make a Soul Resolution for ME Time, your Future Self will Thank You.  Water Your Soul and make all 365 days count!

 

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Our Truest Life

Published by Autumn Brooke on December 27, 2017

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams… Awake.”

I heard this quote by Henry David Thoreau just the other day and couldn’t help but ponder on how brilliant a statement it was and wonder why we, society, fail to realize how truly “good” life really is.  We are headed into the New Year of 2018, so like most I am reflective as well as focused on the future.  I would like to say that this year has been unusual for me, but I tend to live my life on the road less traveled; however, I can admit that this was an unexpected Christmas.  I was not focused on the holiday because my boys were going to be with their father this year, until 3 days before Christmas and plans changed.  I was rushing around like a crazy lady, trying to create Christmas Magic in our home to give a memory to remember.  What I failed to realize was that I was so focused on the commercial aspect that I didn’t stop to give real meaning to the day.  Please don’t misunderstand, I only gave the boys two gifts each and the continual reminder of why we celebrate Christmas, but as a mother, in not planning on them being here with me, I felt stressed and uneasy on not being prepared.  (It’s a Mommy thing) Christmas came and went, the boys seemed to be grateful and happy.

The feelings for me have carried over as we prepare to celebrate the upcoming New Year.   Always a difficult time of the year because my cousin, Sarah, passed on that witching hour, what I have come to realize was 5 years ago.  She holds a special place in my heart as my first girl cousin, and we had recently began to reconnect as I made plans to move back to Fresno that same year.  She was too young, too beautiful, and her children are only raised by the great memories we share so that they may know and remember their mother.  Then I think on my mother that passed a short year later and how I was blessed with having her for my entire childhood.  This weighs heavy on my heart and then I read through social media to find friends suffering the same burdens.  Many are grieving for past loved ones, some fresh and new.  The hands of time do not stop for the holidays, life is an unexpected blessing and we need to cherish it as such.

This brings me back to the quote.  Our Truest Life…. I love that word True.  What is it that makes or gives you, your truest life?  For me it would be Love.  I fail in so many ways every day, but as long as I can put my sons to bed knowing that they feel secure in my love, then I feel accomplished.  Certainly, I want to provide more for them; to Live our Dream, Awake, but until that day, I need to learn to Cherish Every Moment.  To quit focusing on the details, to see that every minute I spend stressing the small stuff, they are growing older and days are passing me by.

With this New Year, I want to make a Resolution or an Affirmation, that I will See the Bigger Picture, Focus on the Dream, but take Time in the Moments!  If I only live for a brighter future, I may miss the journey it took to get there and that is really where the greatness lies.  For these boys, I am their world and for some reason, I never understood what a true blessing that is….. I always felt that this responsibility was often an overwhelming burden more then blessing.  Some may read that and find me callous and shallow, but I also know that there are plenty of mothers for which that statement will ring true.

For 2018, I challenge each of us to take on our burdens and bare them as blessings.  To achieve our dreams wide awake, so that each day may be joy unto itself.  Take pleasure in all things, big or small, positive or negative…..  because in this life the only thing certain is the uncertainty of each day.  It can always be better or it can always be worse…. Essentially it is what you make it, so make it the best it can be!

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50th Anniversary of Queen Mary’s Arrival in Long Beach

Published by Autumn Brooke on December 13, 2017

I pride myself on being able to write articulately, concisely, and resourcefully but today I admit that I am at a loss of words as I have been overwhelmed with humility and gratitude while reflecting on the details of the weekend.

The past two-three years of my life have been such a whirlwind full of incredible introductions, amazing events, and iconic moments that I feel blessed to have been a part.  I began working on a story idea in 2015, that became a completed novel in March of 2016. During the research of the book I spent many hours, days, weeks aboard RMS Queen Mary and am now privileged to call many that I met aboard a friend. It was through this work that I was invited to attend the 80th Anniversary of the Queen Mary’s Maiden Voyage in May of 2016. A short two months after I finished the unedited version of the novel, I was rewarded with the opportunity to meet so many of the people I had researched or only corresponded with by email or phone. I also had the opportunity to meet Randolph Churchill, the great grandson to Sir Winston Churchill as he gave the ribbon cutting speech in an exhibition on RMS Queen Mary of Churchill’s paintings.  It was at this event that I was encouraged to pursue an opportunity that I had been given to engage with a Screen Writing partner in creating the ‘Brides Aweigh’ novel in to a feature film script.

Fast forward to March of 2017 and I am posting about the now completed, but still raw version of the screen play. Took off a few months for other projects until Fall of this year, where I can now say we have a locked script and are in Post-Development, entering Pre-Production. It is in this phase of my life that I was again blessed with an invitation to attend another anniversary for my favorite Ocean Liner, RMS Queen Mary.  December 9th,1967 she arrived in Long Beach, California completing her final 39-day voyage from Southampton under the command of Captain John Treasure Jones. An iconic landmark for Long Beach and all of California for the last 50 years, RMS Queen Mary continues to fascinate, inspire, and educate all she encounters in her current state as a hotel and museum.

In the collage above are pictures that we gathered on the short 36 hour trip we made to attend this historic occasion.  As always, the Queen Mary did not fail to impress but it was the people that attended that made it so very memorable to me. I was surrounded by current lovers and supporters of the RMS Queen Mary, Sir Winston Churchill, and past passengers and crew. The first event was a dedication of “Their Finest Hour” Churchill Exhibition by Sir Winston’s great granddaughter, Jennie Churchill.  The exhibit showcases several original set pieces from the new film Darkest Hour, used to recreate secret War rooms used by Churchill in WWII. When you step below the rooms are so supremely done that it is impossible not to feel a part of history and truly understand how daunting was the responsibility held by so many to plot the defeat of Hitler. The somberness was quickly replaced by the festive and jubilant spirit to the 50th Anniversary Gala held above on the Verandah Deck. It was here that I had a better opportunity to reconnect with June Allen, one of the first War Brides of the Queen Mary, that I have grown so close to in our many interviews in research for my novel. The revered Commodore Everette spoke as historic gifts were bestowed in the new partnership between RMS Queen Mary and the International Churchill Society, even a moment shared by the daughter of the last Captain, Treasure Jones. This night also included a brief meeting of the Last Stowaway, and author of book by the same name, who hid aboard the Queen Mary as she left Southampton for the last time. Fun fact; he believed he would be going to New York, unknowing it was a trip all the way to California.

Although the Gala was coming to a close, there were many that made way to the Observation Bar to finish out the night. I am so glad that I went along because it was there that I was able to be sing along and dance on the sidelines as Jennie Churchill joined in the Karaoke fun, singing ‘Sweet Caroline’, by Neil Diamond. It made the whole night, as did sharing a few dancing turns with Jennie Churchill’s companion, Laurence Geller CBE, Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire (CBE), by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, in 2011.

The next morning, I was back on the Verandah Deck for the Remembrance Ceremony and Salute to Long Beach from the Queen Mary.  There did not seem to be a way to top the events from the night before but I was wrong.  Waiting as on the Starboard side, I was privileged to sit with June Allen, which gave us a little more time to catch up.  It was here that I was introduced to Maureen, a Southern California native, that was not only a passenger on the Queen Mary’s last cruise, but claims she was the very last passenger off the ship 50 years ago.  I wish I had more time to hear Maureen’s adventurous story but the boats were before us in the water. Jennie Churchill and WWII veteran, Ray Deveau, one of the 810,000 Allied Personnel Queen Mary Carried as the Grey Ghost in her service as troopship, laid a ‘Wreath of Remembrance’ on the water to recognize those who went to war or returned from conflict aboard the Queen Mary, observed by a moment of silence. This was followed by a Fire Boat Water Cannon that gave a Splendid Anniversary Salute to the Queen Mary, that resulted in cheers and claps as we were graced with a full rainbow, a symbol of Peace. It was a sight to behold and a perfect ending to a perfect weekend.

Below are links for more pictures and facts in relation to the Queen Mary’s 50th Arrival in Long Beach, California.

https://www.facebook.com/thequeen.mary/posts/10155145315145920

https://youtu.be/cCzG0W_Q-NI

 

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Gift of Life

Published by Autumn Brooke on October 3, 2017

In the last few weeks we have been suffering with multiple tragedies as a Nation, many disastrous events in our own Country.  For some of you these were literally in your own backyard, or like me, you had loved ones that were affected or involved so it hits closer to home.  I had friends trapped by the flooding in Texas during Hurricane Harvey, and family in Florida forced to endure days without power during Hurricane Irma.  My Aunt and Uncle were among the mass of people at the Route 91 concert in Las Vegas, fortunate to escape.  I am grateful that everyone I know personally is safe by all accounts in all these situations; however there are many victims and families of victim’s still enduring loss, fear, pain.  Scrolling through social media the posts were at first full of shock and wonder at how the world could be so evil, but quickly escalated to an uprising in anger, judgment and condemnation.  Close friends are literally posting hateful posts with words like “Delete Me, If you don’t like my Opinion” and/or the equivocal “Our opinions differ; I am right so you must be wrong!”  Or a few have gone on a rant, spewing expletives and casting blame, all which is unnecessary.  Instead of coming together as a people, we divide, taking sides in a controversy that will never be won.  Political Agendas, Conspiracy Theories, Protests for Social Injustice, and a fight for Amendment Rights has caused such a rift amongst friends, brothers, co-workers, that  we are literally creating the groundwork for another civil war.  The animosity tears at my soul so that I actively seek out the good to balance myself, to restore my hope in humanity.  Let the benevolence of the helpers, professional or community driven, outweigh the disheartened.  Take comfort in the patience of those that stood in line for hours to donate blood for the victims. Literally giving the Gift of Life, because when it comes right down to it, WE ALL BLEED THE SAME BLOOD!  When donating or receiving there is no box to check for race, ethnicity, nationality, or political affiliation.  We are simply a Blood Type and all humans share that common factor.  Our world is built on diversity and inclusion, meaning differences and embracement; it is why we are proud to be Americans. Yes, there are race relations and social justices, all deserving of their own discussion, but for now, let’s learn how to embrace our diversion with dignity.  In the wake of the horrific events that are still unfolding, let us be kind to one another.  Mr. Rogers says it best, “It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out. It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.”

― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

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Leader of Your Own Life

Published by Autumn Brooke on June 10, 2017

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more – You are a Leader.”   –John Quincy Adams

This quote by our 6th President of the United States is my entire blog in one sentence. It really is that simple when you realize that we lead by example so be the kind of leader that you would follow.  One that inspires you to find your inner greatness and encourages you to think outside the box, to test the limits.

A true leader is not there to create more followers but to create more leaders. Empower those around you, essentially empowering yourself to be the leader of your own life. It is a give and take relationship, about communication and collaboration. Leadership is about serving others to the point where they want to follow you.

If you think that you are leading but turn around to see that no one is behind you, then you are just taking a walk. Most likely have taken a detour in your own life and need to stop and regroup. Leading is synonymous with Learning, they go hand in hand and we learn from those that surround us. It is essential to have a team that will inspire and motivate you as you Lead the way, not because you are stronger or greater, but because you have more ambition and drive.

The Strongest people are those who use life’s difficulties to become Better not Bitter. It only takes one person to make a change that leads to a chain reaction of others willing to make a difference. Be a Leader to Inspire, Educate, and Change the Generation, essentially changing the World for the Better.

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Neverending Journey

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 28, 2017

Do any of us actually reach our final destination?  I hope not, as even in our passing or final resting place, I can only hope that our purpose will continue to live on and inspire others.  As we come into Memorial Day Weekend and I think of our fallen men and women that have given their lives for our country, I can only find it fitting that today is the 81st Anniversary of the RMS Queen Mary’s first international crossing from Southampton to New York.  A year ago, I shared my amazing experience as a guest for her 80th Anniversary Celebration of this iconic maiden voyage and this blog is inspired by the social media posts that I am seeing to remind me of such a glorious weekend.

However, my viewpoint of this day, this weekend is more vast then I originally ever credited and I feel the need to share my thoughts with you.  This ship holds a special place in my heart for many reasons and in getting to know her, I most admire her service to this country during WWII.  In my research, I agree with Sir Winston Churchill that laid claim to his opinion that had it not been for her continued transports of troops we may not have won that war.  This December will be the 50th anniversary of Queen Mary’s final docking in Long Beach, Calif.

However, I do not find this to be her final destination because her journey continues in educating the masses in world history.  She unfortunately had the military honor of bringing men that may not have been able to walk themselves down the gangplank as they reached home soil, but their story was not over….. for their final destination gave birth to a story to be told for history.  Their lives mattered, so much so that we continue to celebrate their lives and sacrifice today.

The books and movies that we read or view don’t give justice to all that they encountered, but they do give us hope and should encourage us to strive for greatness in all that we do.  In actuality what comes to my mind is the Core Values that were instilled within me as a member of our Armed Forces and I hope to Inspire in Others …Integrity first, Service before self, and Excellence in all we do. These are the Air Force Core Values.

What it breaks down to is that the journey is never over.  Little by little, Step by step, Move forward, Always move forward……  Reach that Goal, That Destination, but don’t ever stop, for once you recognize that the Journey is never over… you will realize that it was never about you in the first place.  Our lives exist for our future generations.  Leave a good Legacy and appreciate the lives that have journeyed before you.

My mission is to Fly, Fight, and Win. I am faithful to a Proud Heritage, A Tradition of Honor, And a Legacy of Valor. I am an American Airman. Guardian of Freedom and Justice, My Nation’s Sword and Shield, Its Sentry and Avenger.

airman’s creed – AF.mil

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Something About May…..

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 4, 2017

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”  

(William Shakespeare)

 I think that Shakespeare understood a better part of himself then most of us…… wise enough to realize that we may finally understand our inner beings but aware that the future is never fully known.  I am just now learning to embrace this fact in my life.  If you follow my personal page on Facebook then you may have seen that I am focusing on renewing the better part of myself.   Started out simple – back to those early morning Gym workouts, watching what I eat and drink, being that Summer is just around the corner.  However, I then had to take a deeper introspective look into the other areas of my life and realized that I am Happy with the Me that I Am today.  Of course, no one is perfect and there is always room for improvement, but what was it that I really wanted to change……?    I know that there is still so much more that I need and want to do which means … Focus, Clarity, Productivity!

There is just something about May; One of my favorite months, the rebirth of the earth as we bring in Spring.  Like that old nursery rhyme…. “April Showers Bring May Flowers” I want to shower my life with colorful flowers and the best way that I know to do that is to dedicate myself to the month of May.  It is vitally important to me that I am an example of accomplishing the seemingly impossible to my boys and within that I strive to #BeInspiredtoInspire and what better way to do that then to see the beauty within myself and all areas of my life.  I believe in the #LawofAttraction so I will continue to focus on all that is good and pure in the world.  

It is not about yesterday or tomorrow but today….. the time is now and you are in control of all that you desire.  New Month. New Beginning. New Mindset.  New Focus. New Start.  New Intentions. New Results.  May we all represent this month with a show of our personal growth as we spring into action!  Happy May Day!

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Blog No. 51

Published by Autumn Brooke on April 20, 2017

I know that for many 50 blogs does not seem like much cause for celebration but it is for me.  Writing is something that I love to do but I struggle to maintain blogging on a routine basis.  I continue to remain hopeful that I will get better at feeling comfortable blogging more regularly.  However the last few weeks I have been very busy and have not made time to focus.  I wanted to make sure not to be distracted as I was able to finally get my Copyright and registered with the Writers Guild of America West.  It felt surreal as it verified for me that I am an official author.  This came on the Wings of another accomplishment for our little family.  After two years of being in the business and having the boys managed by Young Performers Management, we were also able to secure representation for Cristian and Alex with SALT Agency in Los Angeles.  Cris has worked diligently for this opportunity and I am so incredibly proud of him.

I have a feeling that our lives are in full swing and I am dedicated to this forward momentum for all of us.  It may mean big changes and a big move but I know that we are ready, I can only hope that Los Angeles is ready for all of us.

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