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Tag: #blessings

Brides Aweigh Synopsis

Published by Autumn Brooke on April 29, 2016

Mockup BridesAweigh

I have had many people ask about the details of the novel.  Below is a brief synopsis, but there is so much more to the story I don’t believe that this description does it justice.  I chose to write this piece of historical fiction not as a love story but to share the remarkable lives of the WWII War Brides and the undeniable importance that The Queen Mary played in their journey.  The strength and resilience of all involved had a story of their own.  One deserving to be told.

Brides Aweigh

Synopsis

 Emma, like many other young British women, falls in love and marries one of the American GI’s who are stationed in her town during the course of WWII.  Her husband is shipped out and she remains at home in worry and wonder for more than a year; when a letter arrives from the Army stating that she can be reunited with her American husband.  The Queen Mary, still in military service, will ferry War Brides to the United States for the “Operation Daddy” mission.  With two other brides from her town, Emma sets sail on the biggest adventure of her life, leaving behind all she has ever known. 

Emma faces more than loneliness onboard the ship.  Self-doubt, self-recollection, and adversity force her to wonder if her husband is little more than a stranger.  Fortunately she encounters many characters on the Queen Mary who help her discover who and what she wants to be in the future.  Her traveling companions include a male War Bride, a child who is meeting an unknown American father after the death of the child’s mother, and many other women from different backgrounds and stations.  Emma encounters true tragedy for the first time in her life, as an American soldier dies just days prior to arriving on American soil, and she loses the friendship of her best friend over circumstances involving morality. 

In the end, her journey teaches her the strength to walk off the ship and become the woman she has been destined to be always.

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Loss & Gain

Published by Autumn Brooke on April 12, 2016

It has been a strange last few days for me.  So enlightening, in fact, that I have come to realize that it has been an odd last few years.  I’ve really come to think about all that I have lost and gained in the last few years as my marriage came to an end, my first home that I bought and built from the ground up was lost to me, as was my mother…. There are many more losses.  I only mention those because they are like a rite of passage as we grow up.  There are expectations placed upon us of “who” and “where” you are supposed to be by a certain age, and I followed all the rules, yet here I am, having met said goals, but losing them along the way.  It may not be so bad if people didn’t remind me all the time that I am not “getting any younger.”  Or my favorite is “you should be settled by now” like I intended to be in this position at this stage of my life.  I generally take most of it in stride, but there is always those few moments that slap us in the face that remind you that you are “FAILING” as an Adult.  Today that was TAX Day, I got to go in and file my taxes which have not been fun in the last few years, only to be reminded of where I should be, or where I was, or that maybe, next year, will be better.  Tax Preparers, People, who don’t know anything about you, but they are reading the intimate details of your financial well-being, meaning they probably know you better than some of your closest friends or family.  There is a look of judgement or sorrow as they gaze across the desk at you, hopefully doing their best to keep you from paying in on debts that never should have happened. 

It is on these days that the brave façade crumbles and maybe you cry into your wine or break down in tears as your head touches the pillow.  Or you could be me, just can’t sleep and decide to blog before the sun comes up, knowing that you have a full schedule to complete for the day and in two hours it will be time to start another day of doing the best you can.  Sometimes on these breaking days we are fortunate to have a friend to tell you that you are amazing and it will all get better.  To listen while you vent and understand that you just need someone to “hear” you.  Other times you vent only to be rebuked and judged for these “weak” moments. 

Life isn’t fair!  A statement I have heard, said, repeated a multitude of times.  I understand and respect it.  Which will bring me back to my first paragraph where I said I was evaluating my losses and my gains.  The losses hurt, I do cry like a little girl when I am overwhelmed.  I also am known to feel sorry for myself, need copious amounts of attention, and feel extremely sensitive.   This comes following a day that I am praised by a few, even my own son, the teenager, for being the strongest woman he knows, mentally and physically.  This is why I refer to loss and gain, a roller coaster of emotions in the last year especially.  As this may have been the most difficult time of my life, up to date, it has also held some of my highest moments.  Becoming a mother was amazing, but being a mother to a son that you can have a grown up conversation with and see the man you are raising, is even more amazing.  Knowing that after the onset of tears, stress, and struggle you rise up to solve the problem is a rush of gratitude and independence.  The pure joy of abandoned laughter unknown in previous years is such a blessing.  These are gains that I wouldn’t have experienced the same or as fully if it wasn’t for the pain of the losses. 

I am not unique, everyone has their own series of loss and gain, also causing their own joy and pain.  If we can come together in this and stop the judgement and condemnation we can support one another.  Maybe make that really hard day a little bit easier for someone.  I believe that most of us are doing are best, we may need some help now and again, even if just a word of encouragement.  They say “It takes a village to raise a child.”  I don’t think that stops when we are grown.  As we raise the children with the village, do we really ever stop raising ourselves?  Age is a number, I am still growing and learning every day.  I make mistakes, I may act like a child at times, but I get stronger and smarter along the way. 

 

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Illusional Perspective

Published by Autumn Brooke on February 12, 2016

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We interpret the world between shadow and color, an imperfect view of the world based on past experience, proven true only by the illusion of art.  When we view an image we tend to lose the reality of the picture, because our previous experience has taught us that what we see is false.  However, that viewpoint is mistaken; our brain makes assumptions based on features of our previous environment.  If we mentally over compensate for illusions our eyes see, then what are the options for our future?  Our perspective is so skewed that we start to determine within ourselves a non-existent reality. Essentially, we have not only created a non-reality, but we are tormented by invisible drama that is based upon irrational compensation.  We are a product of our environment.  We determine our path of destination.  Our mental mindset and vision of peace is our own.  So, go and make your own happiness; the viewpoint is all within your own perspective. 

Make it Your’s!

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Love over 35

Published by Autumn Brooke on February 2, 2016

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Yesterday I wrote a Facebook post that many of you probably never saw because I only had it up for one hour.  I don’t try to maintain a strictly professional image on my social media but I do try to keep the truly personal at a minimum.  The post was about a comment that was said to me in a conversation,  that people after the age of 35 lose their chance at finding “someone.”  I will leave the idea of a “someone” subjective as it can be a life partner, a spouse, a friend, a true love, the details were not discussed, but it was in relation to being with “someone” until the end, a person that will love you unconditionally.

The fact that my friend thought that age could keep this from happening blew me away.  He didn’t even relate it specifically to women, he felt that the chances decreased for men too.  I immediately took to Facebook to post the question and hear the opinion of the people.  To my chagrin, he was not the only one to feel that way.  I was shocked, although it was other men under the age of 35 that thought the age of a woman did play a big factor in making her worthy of love.

I worried that people would think I was fishing for compliments or looking for dates when I posted, and I said so as much in my post.  Stating the conversation and question, I related that I was 40 years old and the single mother to 4 children that are still young, elementary school age even.  Most people, men and women, near my age posted that the statement was crazy.  Age didn’t matter when it came to love, and it was inner beauty that mattered.  A few of the younger men did state that a ‘mature’ woman needed to bring a lot to the table in order for a man to consider her over a younger woman.

What surprised me was that no matter the positive or negative response, they all still mentioned beauty.  I am not naive, I know that we are all attracted to pretty things, and the younger generation is beautiful with their good skin, tightened muscles, but when did we stop seeing beauty in those with a few years behind them?  I honestly thought the world had moved past this, especially with the rate of divorce in the country, and so many people beginning again after middle age.

I don’t see myself as old, I don’t see myself as ugly nor beautiful.  I don’t lack for male attention and that is both younger and older.  I do worry about still having young children at home that still need to be raised so I come as a package, not just for myself.  However, that is only a small concern to me as I would expect any one I bothered to spend time with already be accepting of the family life.  My issue is that I want to be respected, measured as an equal, and loved for my talent and personality.  To me, if you have all of those things then you are automatically beautiful in that “someone’s” eyes.

We all have a type, but if you are stuck on that. then you may just pass your soulmate by because they are NOT the right race, height, size that you think you need, and apparently age is also a part of that.  I do believe that there needs to be a physical attraction but I believe that can grow by a mental connection.  If there is chemistry then there is a connection that you can build off of.  Love is freely given, or it should be, but it is not automatic and must be worked on, a seed that once planted must be nurtured in order to grow.

I have faith, faith that when the time is right that I will find the “someone” that will love me for me, not despite age, size, height, or color but because of them.  They will see me inside out and I will do the same with them.  Learn to grow together, explore, learn, challenge one another.  Life is a myriad of unforeseen circumstances, that are multiple opportunities, that will bring out the best in you, if only you allow it.

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The Novel – Brides Aweigh

Published by Autumn Brooke on January 28, 2016
Mockup BridesAweigh
Mock Up Cover

 

I have shared with a few of you and made mention of the novel that I have been diligently working on for the past year.  I am in the end stages as I do some rewrites and editing, but I have fallen in love with a Mock Up Cover that was made for me by my business partner, Gabriel Alvarez, and wanted to share it publicly.  I know that it is a good possibility that the cover will be changed and it is extremely possible that I may not find a publisher for this work of love, but none the less I will have completed my first novel and that will serve to remind me that “I can do it.”  This book has weighed heavily on my heart and mind as I was determined to share the historic facts of this heroing tale.  There is so much to be learned on events from our past and the history behind the feats of the Queen Mary, the gallantry of the soldiers, the patriotism of the Red Cross, and the determination of the WWII War Brides.  There was a story that continued to plague my thoughts until I put pen to paper and let the characters speak for themselves.  The story is fictional but based on events that I have thoroughly researched.  I have spent hours reading and note taking to make sure that my historical facts were accurate.  It is important to me that although not written as a documentary, my readers are still given the authentic details of the time and place.  I will continue in my dedication to hopefully see this novel printed and share the journey with all of you.  

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Rainy Days

Published by Autumn Brooke on November 2, 2015

raining

I woke up to the sound of rain and snuggled further under my covers, reminiscing about the simple pleasure of lazy, rainy, days.  Enjoying the cooler weather, the sound of rain hitting the window panes, curled up with a warm drink, cozy blanket, and a great book or movie.  However that was not to be on my agenda for the day because the boys did not have school and were already beginning to make sounds of boredom and hunger.  Breakfast solved the hunger pains and created a false sense of quiet, that I quickly took advantage of as I made my way to the patio with a cup of coffee to enjoy the much needed rain in the Central Valley.  The tracking device installed in every mother alerting her offspring that she is currently enjoying alone time brought the children outdoors, but I did not mind the interruption of peace as I saw the awe in their face as I granted permission for them to play in the rain.  The youngest ran to tell his older brothers to come jump in the puddles, which they did with such abandonment and delight, I was envious.  Reminded me of days past and the joy in the simple life.  They did not need TV or video games to be occupied, they played for an hour with one another, using their imagination to make up games.  The six year old even mentioned how the rain was good for California because we were in a drought, and how he had missed the rain, serving to restore my faith that he is being well educated.  A few minutes later, however, he came to tell me how the homeless were all able to get free showers today if they had some soap.  All are inside now but still playing well with each other, as I contemplate what soup or stew I should make on this rare rainy day, and thanking God for reminding me that some days we all just need to Dance in the Rain with the innocence of a child.  And just to keep it ‘Real,’ I currently  hear the discussion of what video game should be played happening in the playroom, which means an argument will soon ensue as one or two don’t get their way, and the tattle tales begin with that old faithful call of “Mom….. they won’t let me Play……”

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Winds of Change

Published by Autumn Brooke on October 7, 2015

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It is that time of year again, and I am definitely feeling it this season.  The weather is changing, the wind is blowing, it leaves a series of leaves and debris in its wake or it blows it all away.  I am struggling with where I am in life and my approaching birthday; with the age of my children and their demanding needs.  I remember when I made all the decisions, even if it was for them, such as, soccer, dance, drama; they were still designated around family time.  I had complete control over the when and how of what went on in our family, but now I am an open book, my schedule, my calendar are completely at the mercy of what opportunities open up for my boys.  Please don’t get me wrong, this is not a complaint, only an observation of how life is never what we plan.  Actually if we try to plan everything out, I think that it is destined to switch up and change on us.  It is the unexpected that approaches, must be embraced, never anticipated.  For if we do, we are disappointed because life, like the wind, can change direction at any given moment.  So expect the unexpected and learn to live life serendipitous.  I remember when I first learned the meaning of that word and even at the tender age of 16, I recognized that it was not human nature.  We plan each and every moment of our lives, forgetting to live in the moment.  That is one thing I hope to instill within my children, even as I struggle with my own OCD, and nature of an Only child, with my need to control everyone and everything,  It is a learning lesson for all of us, and in the end we will be better for it.  So, I leave you with this thought……  at the wind blows, take it in, accept what may come, and then breathe it out.  Life is Not what we make of it, but what we make of the hand that is dealt us, with the understanding that all of it can change at any moment.

#letlifestripyoubare #timingiseverything #serendipitiouslife

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My Crazy Life

Published by Autumn Brooke on September 26, 2015

beautifullife

As I woke up before the sun once again today, I took a moment to look around my shadowed room.  The mountains of clean clothes piled in various locations has grown to monstrous proportions, reminding me that I am behind in many areas of my life.  This blog being one of many.  I have not had time to post, although I think about it daily, much less catch on bills, or the daily household chores of dusting, vacuuming, or the aforementioned laundry.  I could go on but the guilt ridden mom heart set in and I took immediate stalk of my life and where it was going.  Was I doing too much, my relationships are suffering, but how about my relationship with my children, were they nearly as neglected as the house?  I breathed a sigh of relief as I could immediately recognize that my stress and constant chaos was because of the kids.  We are together more then ever now with weekly three hour trips down south so that they can pursue their dream of becoming child actors.  It is a demanding industry that does not allow for downtime, and I made the commitment to give them a real shot before deciding if it is a lifestyle we continue or not.  This may not be one of my most interesting or educational blogs, but I decided to share, maybe more for my own piece of mind, but I know that there are many families that can relate with kids in sports, or any extracurricular activity that causes parents to give up whole portions of their life to focus on the pursuit of their child’s dream.  It is a sacrifice that we gladly make, so those awaiting chores can continue to haunt me in my sleep, because they matter very little compared to the happiness and future success of my children.

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The Interview

Published by Autumn Brooke on August 6, 2015

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Although it is slow going and writing is often a lonely process, I have to say that this experience of book writing has been a dream.  I have been given some incredible opportunities and being interviewed by Greg Mack was extremely cool.  I tend to talk a lot, so much so, that people often wonder when I will quit, or encourage me to “get to the point.”  Lol!  I don’t get offended, I am a storyteller, I know that I give too much detail, but this interview had me incredibly nervous.  I was flustered, couldn’t put two words together even though Greg Mack is funny, professional, and works with you to make the process as painless as possible.  At least I know now what I need to work on to improve my public speaking skills.  I am including the link below to the YouTube site where you can hear the interview and see more pictures.  Please feel free to comment, but remember to be kind….  I am learning.

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Worst Blogger Ever

Published by Autumn Brooke on July 31, 2015

Yup, that’s me!  I spend so much of my day writing and even promoting my blog, but forget to actually write on the actual page.   And to think that when I started the blog I was afraid that I would write too often and bombard the internet world with all of my thoughts and feelings.  Honestly I believe that has been such a fear for me that it is why I avoid the site.  I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and I don’t assume that many want to hear about the in’s and out’s of my day.  Like at this moment my oldest child, who will be turning 13 in a month, is currently standing in my kitchen making toast with his little brother’s Mickey Mouse mask over his face, simply because he found it on the floor.  Or why the next in line, the 10 year old used hair gel as shower gel in the shower because he didn’t bother to read the bottle and I simply said there was new body wash on the counter.  Yes, that really happened!  The two youngest age 8 and 6 are this minute arguing over butter for their toast.  How do you argue over butter, you wonder, well let me tell you.  The 8 year old, can’t find butter, the 6 year old pulls the Brummel & Brown butter container out of the fridge.  The 8 year old says, “No, that’s yogurt.” The 12 year old chimes in, “It is made with  yogurt.” The 8 year old, “Really, they do that?  Gross!”  Leave it the 6 year old, “If it looks like butter, tastes like butter, It’s Butter!”  All of this within the first 15 minutes of them being awake this morning, and this is how my day will continue.  If I just wrote about the conversations I overhear between these four boys, I probably could feel an entire blog, my mother used to encourage me to do that from the time they were small.  Maybe one day, I will do it, I imagine that it will be a lot more interesting as they get into their teenage years.  For now I will just designate an actual writing day and time to keep up with my blog, unless I am suddenly hit with creative inspiration.  Otherwise I will entertain you with another antidote from my life of living with 4 boys, but I promise, I will try not to do that to you!

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