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Tag: #livelikeyoumeanit

My Crazy Life

Published by Autumn Brooke on September 26, 2015

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As I woke up before the sun once again today, I took a moment to look around my shadowed room.  The mountains of clean clothes piled in various locations has grown to monstrous proportions, reminding me that I am behind in many areas of my life.  This blog being one of many.  I have not had time to post, although I think about it daily, much less catch on bills, or the daily household chores of dusting, vacuuming, or the aforementioned laundry.  I could go on but the guilt ridden mom heart set in and I took immediate stalk of my life and where it was going.  Was I doing too much, my relationships are suffering, but how about my relationship with my children, were they nearly as neglected as the house?  I breathed a sigh of relief as I could immediately recognize that my stress and constant chaos was because of the kids.  We are together more then ever now with weekly three hour trips down south so that they can pursue their dream of becoming child actors.  It is a demanding industry that does not allow for downtime, and I made the commitment to give them a real shot before deciding if it is a lifestyle we continue or not.  This may not be one of my most interesting or educational blogs, but I decided to share, maybe more for my own piece of mind, but I know that there are many families that can relate with kids in sports, or any extracurricular activity that causes parents to give up whole portions of their life to focus on the pursuit of their child’s dream.  It is a sacrifice that we gladly make, so those awaiting chores can continue to haunt me in my sleep, because they matter very little compared to the happiness and future success of my children.

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Worst Blogger Ever

Published by Autumn Brooke on July 31, 2015

Yup, that’s me!  I spend so much of my day writing and even promoting my blog, but forget to actually write on the actual page.   And to think that when I started the blog I was afraid that I would write too often and bombard the internet world with all of my thoughts and feelings.  Honestly I believe that has been such a fear for me that it is why I avoid the site.  I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and I don’t assume that many want to hear about the in’s and out’s of my day.  Like at this moment my oldest child, who will be turning 13 in a month, is currently standing in my kitchen making toast with his little brother’s Mickey Mouse mask over his face, simply because he found it on the floor.  Or why the next in line, the 10 year old used hair gel as shower gel in the shower because he didn’t bother to read the bottle and I simply said there was new body wash on the counter.  Yes, that really happened!  The two youngest age 8 and 6 are this minute arguing over butter for their toast.  How do you argue over butter, you wonder, well let me tell you.  The 8 year old, can’t find butter, the 6 year old pulls the Brummel & Brown butter container out of the fridge.  The 8 year old says, “No, that’s yogurt.” The 12 year old chimes in, “It is made with  yogurt.” The 8 year old, “Really, they do that?  Gross!”  Leave it the 6 year old, “If it looks like butter, tastes like butter, It’s Butter!”  All of this within the first 15 minutes of them being awake this morning, and this is how my day will continue.  If I just wrote about the conversations I overhear between these four boys, I probably could feel an entire blog, my mother used to encourage me to do that from the time they were small.  Maybe one day, I will do it, I imagine that it will be a lot more interesting as they get into their teenage years.  For now I will just designate an actual writing day and time to keep up with my blog, unless I am suddenly hit with creative inspiration.  Otherwise I will entertain you with another antidote from my life of living with 4 boys, but I promise, I will try not to do that to you!

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Love & Loss

Published by Autumn Brooke on May 15, 2015

Today is the two year anniversary of my mother’s passing and I have debated all day about posting or what to post.  I didn’t want to write and share only words of sadness.  It was then that it occurred to me that every one has a tale of woe, some much worse or sadder than others, but that is what connects us all as people.  I thought about the response that I received on my Mother’s Day Tribute blog and realized that is where my voice is, what gives me the strength to write from my heart, mind, and soul.  I share, and hope that people identify with what it is that I have to say and maybe it will bring joy or solace to those that read it.  So, with that being said, I found a piece of myself today and may not be nearly as lost in my loneliness as I assume, because we all have loved or lost in some form, some way, at sometime.  I have posted before on my mother’s page that ‘I’m not trying to learn how not to miss you, I’m trying to learn how to live life while missing you’ and that has become a mantra for my life that I would like to give to others dealing with how to move on.  I cannot go a day without something reminding me of my mother and I am okay with that because the things that drove me the most crazy about her are the things that I miss today.  She instilled greatness in me by all the good works she did, and although she set the bar high with her expectations, I will live up to her standard, knowing in all that I do, I follow in her footsteps, hoping that when my time on this earth is done, that I too, leave a legacy for others to follow or learn from.

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