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Tag: #love

Puddle Play

“Life is like a puddle~ you can stand on the edge and watch the reflection of what is…. Or you can jump in and create a wave.”  (Kristine Peterson)

I read this quote and instantly fell in love.  It resonated throughout my whole being as I realized that this was the reason that just last week, I stopped everything and took myself outside with the boys.  There was finally a break in the rain that had left an ocean of puddles.  The boys asked if they could jump in them and I said, “of course”!  An earlier blog mentions how I often allow, encourage, my children to find that childhood joy only found by playing in the puddles.  It was just after 4:30pm on Friday, I poured a glass of wine and sat in the front watching the smiles and listening to their laughter.  The street, busier than usual, as neighbors were driving home from work, grinning and waving as they saw the boys.  I remember wondering how many of them remembered the days they too had played in the rain.

That thought led me to question why we stop seeing the puddle as an opportunity but as an obstacle.  I had recently become this person.  This past week had been more trying then most, filled with a multitude of spirit breaking trials.  (Why there was No Wednesday Blog last week)  Our oven blew a coil and I had to wait a week for a replacement.  Then a valve broke that shut the water off for 48 hours.  Living without was more difficult than I could have ever imagined.  It was one thing after another for so many days that I was ready to blow my own fuse.  Then the benefit of social media let me read a post.  Gratefully not a political rant, but one of blessing, as a Facebook friend was grateful that they had made it home safe to kiss their children after barely avoiding a most likely fatal accident.  I took pause, thinking how my difficult week was not even near the tragedy that others may have faced.

It is important to always remember to count your blessings and be grateful that if there is a puddle as an obstacle on your path, keep moving forward.  If the puddle is too big to step around then use that opportunity to leap in and make a wave.

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Still Waters Run Deep

“Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover”, “More than Meets the Eye”, “Never Assume”, we can go on and on with platitudes about not judging everything at face value, but most of us still do it.  We are so self-involved anymore that we never look past the surface, making split decisions about a person and their character.  What happened to the benefit of the doubt?  What happened to actually taking the time to get to know someone?  I can’t blame the social media, in some ways I think that we can often learn more than we want about a person because of their openness or stupidity of what they post to the public.  I honestly believe that it is more related to our own self-indulgence about ourselves.  Do we want to take the time to get involved with the Who and Why that person acts or thinks a certain way?  Probably not.  We ignore the signs, close down the opportunity and let that person retreat back into the safe identity that we have pigeon holed them into.  In many ways, this could be why there is so much cyber bullying, which is not where I was going with this spiel, but it makes sense.  If a person is relentlessly teased about an oddity they will hide within themselves, afraid to defend or explain.  It becomes too much for another to seek out the reason for the ridicule, the concept of “getting to know someone” is so foreign a task that it is no longer second nature.  If someone does try to really develop a deeper friendship or understanding of who you are, do you not feel that they are too intrusive, almost rude?  Accusations of being bold, forward, even dauntless in their pursuit to get to know you.

It is time to open ourselves up to let others in a little more, and it is definitely time to seek a deeper connection to other people in our lives.  The Why is simple….  It is because if we don’t, it may be too late.  What is your impact in the world?  Have you made a difference?  How will you be remembered?  Let people see your true colors, the inner beauty that makes you so unique.  Use the reflection of their interest in your life to shine past the dark waters to the depth of your soul.  The light will pass as inspiration to others for eternity, never to be dim again.

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Dedication, Consistency, Restoration

Happy 2017!  I have never been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, choosing instead to constantly push myself towards the positive which ultimately means changes occur within my life all year long.  One of those, I am dedicating to the New Year and that is stated within the above picture.  I am committing myself to posting a new blog each and every Wednesday.  This may not seem like much of a challenge to many of you, but I posted in July of 2015, titled Worst Blogger Ever, because I recognized that consistently writing on the blog is difficult for me.  It is not that I don’t write, or have anything to say, it is simply taking the time to make it worthy for my readers.  I struggle with knowing that the content that I put out is intriguing enough to be shared.  

I made a personal choice this Holiday Season as I sat down and evaluated what changes I need to make within my personal and business life so that I truly can #BeInspiredToInspire.  I realized that I was finding myself in a rut.  I have been focused on the novel, turn screenplay, Brides Aweigh and in order not to distract myself from this unbelievable opportunity, I’ve stepped back from a lot of my free writing and I believe that this has unfortunately separated me from my blog.  However, that is not good for me, nor my followers.  It disconnects me not only from my readers but also from myself.  

Writing for me is my way of finding ME Time in the midst of being a Full Time Single Mother of 4 Beautifully Busy Boys.  I have adult conversations by sharing my blog with the world even if it is only for a few minutes a day and I owe it to myself to stay Dedicated and Consistent in order to Restore myself to remaining AutumnBrookeOnline.  I was inspired to start up this blog on the continued request of my mother.  She told me repeatedly that my life was full of enough fodder to maintain a blog and it wasn’t about the content as long as I was writing.  So, with that being said and by sharing this post, I am dedicating myself to all of you and me too.  I will trust that you will hold me accountable by checking in every Wednesday to see if I have indeed succeeded in Sharing My Words; Heart, Mind, & Soul with all of you.  Here is the First for this Weds of our New Year…….

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John Grisham – #GiveaBook

#GiveaBook

Grisham says give a book for Christmas.  Yes, that is the John Grisham, the best-selling author of one or more books a year after his first publication in 1989, with A Time to Kill.  Then leading the Best-Seller List of all 1991 with The Firm, that’s 35 books with this year’s newest release, The Whistler, and if that wasn’t impressive enough, 9 of these books were made into major motion pictures.  As an aspiring writer with dreams of reaching the masses with my own feature film adaptation based off my novel, I listen when Grisham speaks, or in this case, I read when he writes.  I’ve always been a fan, but I can admit I started to pay more attention when he ‘Liked’ an Instagram post of mine (I was ecstatic), then to see that he ‘Followed’ me (I was on Cloud Nine.)  It actually encouraged me to buckle down and pay more mind to what I was writing and posting.

I claim my writing as words of heart, mind, and soul.  I don’t stick to one specific theme in my blogs, instead choosing to write by what weighs on my mind.  My voice to the world in an effort to inspire, motivate, and educate.  I hold myself accountable to how what I write may influence others and the fact that these words are forever more a part of history once posted.  It was with this thought that I saw the above image shared on Instagram by Grisham and knew that was ‘it.’  I reached out to the Grisham Team for permission to share his image and was even emailed a better resolution copy.  (I may have danced around my kitchen at such personal acknowledgement.)

Now comes the hard part, to write a blog worthy of sharing his words, with very little to add as Grisham pretty much says it all, “Give a Book for Christmas.”  The 10 listed reasons are more than enough, but for me, I advocate book giving because of the educational benefits.  I’m known for gifting books or gift cards to bookstores; is there really a better gift?  When you give a book as a gift, you are investing in the future.  Promoting an increased knowledge in comprehension skills, spelling ability, and imagination.

Take time to give the best gift of the season, the opportunity to travel the world in multiple time periods or dimensions.  To lose yourself in another life, spawning new career opportunities that may never have been considered had it not been for that one year, that one specific book was placed under the tree.

          Invest in future generations providing promises of unlimited potential, in hope that they dare to dream and realize that nothing is impossible.

 

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Letter to Heaven

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This is a different type of blog for me, but after realizing that today was the One Year Anniversary of my blog and that my first post was one for my mother, the following felt appropriate to share…..

A few months ago, I lost a mentor to a long, but courageous, fight to cancer.  Watching her journey was awe inspiring as I had always admired her but now witnessed her strength on a completely different level.  About a week ago her husband made a Facebook post about how he had taken the time to write her a Heavenly Letter as recommended by his grief counselor and how he found it extremely therapeutic.  It struck a chord within me as the anniversary of my mother’s passing was also quickly approaching.  I still have such a wide range of emotions when I think about her that I thought the idea of communicating them through not just words, but a personal letter, might be just the trick to help release some of the pent up grief, frustration, sorrow I feel when it comes to her.  I do not think that there is or should be a time limit to grief, especially as I don’t believe that it ever really ends.  I believe that we just learn how to better cope, and sometimes mask the pain until we can deal with it.  Some days are just going to be better then others and that is okay, as long as we make a point to continue living and find joy again in the world around us.

I am going to share my letter with all of you.  I think it did help a little bit as I enjoyed the feeling of talking to her, but I know that I did not fully vent all of my emotion.  I am sure that I will try the letter thing again, but maybe not anytime soon as it does bring a lot of feelings rushing back.  I’m in the process of learning how to use those vast emotions for good.  I want to help other people know that we are never fully alone, somewhere there is someone feeling just as you feel and that there is Healing within Communication.  We need to reach out and draw strength from one another.  Isn’t that essentially what Facebook and blog posts are…?  A social media site to connect with other likeminded individuals?

Dear Mom,

          This Saturday, 14 May 2016 it will be three years since you left us.  I try not to dwell on how much you are missing here on earth, but that can be easier said than done.  I am often told how you are happier in Heaven but honestly that never makes me feel better.  Actually if I am completely honest, that thought makes me a bit angry.  I don’t want you to be happier in Heaven, I want you to be here with us.  I want to talk to you, I want to see you, and I want you to be there for all the boys’ events and life milestones, no matter if they are big or small.  I hate that you left us so soon, and even more so when I know that I never got the chance to say Goodbye.  Maybe I am being selfish, but I don’t care, I think that in this situation I am allowed to be unreasonable and selfish.  I just want to have you back in my day to day life.  You used to be the first person that I called when I was upset, scared, confused, or happy.  I miss your advice, your jokes, and even your bad days.  I know that things got hard in the end and that I was often frustrated with you.  I am sorry for that, it was really never you, but the circumstances.  I know that you were just as frustrated at being trapped in a body that no longer worked as your mind did and that is my only silver lining in knowing that you are no longer in your earthly body. 

I miss you everyday mom, and I pray that you can are able to see my accomplishments and even my sorrows.  To feel that you are still present in my life and supporting me from Heaven helps.  You were always my biggest cheerleader and fan.  You were the first to teach me the concept of Unconditional Love which is the best gift you gave me in life. 

I love you and hope that I will continue to make you proud as I celebrate your life and honor you by being the very best Me that I can be! 

Forever Your Girl………..

 

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Love over 35

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Yesterday I wrote a Facebook post that many of you probably never saw because I only had it up for one hour.  I don’t try to maintain a strictly professional image on my social media but I do try to keep the truly personal at a minimum.  The post was about a comment that was said to me in a conversation,  that people after the age of 35 lose their chance at finding “someone.”  I will leave the idea of a “someone” subjective as it can be a life partner, a spouse, a friend, a true love, the details were not discussed, but it was in relation to being with “someone” until the end, a person that will love you unconditionally.

The fact that my friend thought that age could keep this from happening blew me away.  He didn’t even relate it specifically to women, he felt that the chances decreased for men too.  I immediately took to Facebook to post the question and hear the opinion of the people.  To my chagrin, he was not the only one to feel that way.  I was shocked, although it was other men under the age of 35 that thought the age of a woman did play a big factor in making her worthy of love.

I worried that people would think I was fishing for compliments or looking for dates when I posted, and I said so as much in my post.  Stating the conversation and question, I related that I was 40 years old and the single mother to 4 children that are still young, elementary school age even.  Most people, men and women, near my age posted that the statement was crazy.  Age didn’t matter when it came to love, and it was inner beauty that mattered.  A few of the younger men did state that a ‘mature’ woman needed to bring a lot to the table in order for a man to consider her over a younger woman.

What surprised me was that no matter the positive or negative response, they all still mentioned beauty.  I am not naive, I know that we are all attracted to pretty things, and the younger generation is beautiful with their good skin, tightened muscles, but when did we stop seeing beauty in those with a few years behind them?  I honestly thought the world had moved past this, especially with the rate of divorce in the country, and so many people beginning again after middle age.

I don’t see myself as old, I don’t see myself as ugly nor beautiful.  I don’t lack for male attention and that is both younger and older.  I do worry about still having young children at home that still need to be raised so I come as a package, not just for myself.  However, that is only a small concern to me as I would expect any one I bothered to spend time with already be accepting of the family life.  My issue is that I want to be respected, measured as an equal, and loved for my talent and personality.  To me, if you have all of those things then you are automatically beautiful in that “someone’s” eyes.

We all have a type, but if you are stuck on that. then you may just pass your soulmate by because they are NOT the right race, height, size that you think you need, and apparently age is also a part of that.  I do believe that there needs to be a physical attraction but I believe that can grow by a mental connection.  If there is chemistry then there is a connection that you can build off of.  Love is freely given, or it should be, but it is not automatic and must be worked on, a seed that once planted must be nurtured in order to grow.

I have faith, faith that when the time is right that I will find the “someone” that will love me for me, not despite age, size, height, or color but because of them.  They will see me inside out and I will do the same with them.  Learn to grow together, explore, learn, challenge one another.  Life is a myriad of unforeseen circumstances, that are multiple opportunities, that will bring out the best in you, if only you allow it.

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Keeping History Alive….

QM LEGO

Commodore Everette Hoard, Queen Mary LEGO Model

Photo Credit: Stephen Russo

It is apparent that I have a passion for History and strongly believe in educating our younger generations on the importance of recognizing that where we come from has an influence on where we are going, and the historic landmarks of our great nation have so many stories to tell.  I love British Literature from the Victorian and Romantic era so it is no wonder that I was fascinated by the Queen Mary, ultimately falling in love with her on my first visit.  Her history is vitally important to the rebuilding of America after WWII and amazingly many do not know her story, many do not even know she exists.  I have written a Children’s Picture Book on the Queen Mary, that led to a series, History Comes Alive,  where I plan to continue to write on iconic California landmarks, using a child’s perspective in giving a brief history behind these treasured places or venues.  My goal is to not only educate but inspire an interest to continue learning, and delving further into the history.  This is why I am so happy with the opening of the Shipyard on the Queen Mary.  A space dedicated to Historic and Archival photos and antique tools.  It is impossible to walk the ship without learning of her history, but the Shipyard has the history right at your fingertips, you can’t help but not learn a little bit by just spending time in this space.  What really draws the crowd is the LEGO model of the Queen Mary built by four certified master LEGO builders, of Britain’s Bright Bricks, that spent four months, 600 man hours, to recreate the Queen Mary with 250,00 LEGO bricks, weighing in at 604 lbs, and 26 feet.  An incredible feat that draws the attention of all, but especially children.  In the last two years, there have been a lot of changes aboard the Queen Mary and my favorite is their focus in drawing the attention of children.  They are in the process of building an interactive children’s museum that will be open in the near future and I cannot wait to see how much fun it will be, because Learning is Fun when given to our younger generations with their thought process in mind.  Our future needs to learn from our past, and it is our responsibility to teach them!

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Love & Loss

Today is the two year anniversary of my mother’s passing and I have debated all day about posting or what to post.  I didn’t want to write and share only words of sadness.  It was then that it occurred to me that every one has a tale of woe, some much worse or sadder than others, but that is what connects us all as people.  I thought about the response that I received on my Mother’s Day Tribute blog and realized that is where my voice is, what gives me the strength to write from my heart, mind, and soul.  I share, and hope that people identify with what it is that I have to say and maybe it will bring joy or solace to those that read it.  So, with that being said, I found a piece of myself today and may not be nearly as lost in my loneliness as I assume, because we all have loved or lost in some form, some way, at sometime.  I have posted before on my mother’s page that ‘I’m not trying to learn how not to miss you, I’m trying to learn how to live life while missing you’ and that has become a mantra for my life that I would like to give to others dealing with how to move on.  I cannot go a day without something reminding me of my mother and I am okay with that because the things that drove me the most crazy about her are the things that I miss today.  She instilled greatness in me by all the good works she did, and although she set the bar high with her expectations, I will live up to her standard, knowing in all that I do, I follow in her footsteps, hoping that when my time on this earth is done, that I too, leave a legacy for others to follow or learn from.

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