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Tag: #Thankfulness

Rain Cloud

The kids are gone this week for Spring Break and I had a list a mile long that I planned to accomplish not needing to be on their time. As any parent can relate kids not only come with a lot of responsibilities but with a massive schedule. With them away, I was not bound to a routine and planned to put in the work; after I took one day to myself to fully relax in the silence, besides, Sunday is Rest Day. Tomorrow is the last day of the week and I have only managed to cross two items off my list. I woke up this morning chastising myself for my lack of commitment, but I don’t feel a sense of failure, more like the whole week passed me by in a daze. I sort of floated through each day barely eating more than one meal and spending a lot of time in reflection. I have been forced to admit that it is grief and sorrow that haunts me. I knew that I was sad, but I never expected the loss of a pet to be so traumatic.

On the 15th of March we lost our family dog, Cali, after ten years. We spent a lot of time deciding on the “right” dog for our family and she was a perfect fit; calm with the boys when they were small and protective too. About four years ago I knew that she was not getting the activity and attention she needed in our home. Those before mentioned schedules took too much of our time, so we made the difficult decision to have her live with the Grandparents. Although not ideal, she now had another dog to play with and we were still able to visit with her. It never ceased to amaze me how Cali never forgot us, always greeting us with joy and excitement. It was extremely hard to hear that she was losing her fight and passed a few days later.

The reality of losing Cali only brought home the fact that we would soon be losing Rain, our cat of eighteen years. We had expected that he would pass a few times over the years. He was slow to move, losing weight, hearing and sight were also diminishing, but he would rally and prove us all wrong. Chasing birds outside, play fighting with the other house-cats, and demanding of food. However, Rain did start spending more time sleeping in isolation and I told the kids to say their goodbyes before they left for the week. On Monday, the 26th, I was forced to call the kids to give their last words of love, as I held Rain while he took his final breath.

We have lost pets before, which is why I never imagined that this would be as painful but having Rain before I even had children has made it different. His presence is noticeably missing in the house. I have even caught myself looking for him when I feed the other cats or when closing up at night, making sure he isn’t left outside. He was there to purr and settle my spirit when writers block would take over. I depended on him in a way I never realized until he was no longer here. I have heard many refer to their pets as fur babies and I understand that concept better now, but for me, Rain was more of a best friend and confidant, we really grew up together, raised the kids together.

I haven’t yet shed tears over this loss, even without the children here, I am so use to being strong for them that I push all my feelings over a situation away. I am sure that is not healthy, or the “right” way to process emotions, but that is what this post is essentially for. There is no right or wrong way in how people deal with tragic events, I didn’t even bother to share my pet’s passing on facebook, until I decided that it really is words of heart, mind, and soul. I admit that I am deeply hurt and expect that I will be crying right alongside my kids when we put Rain to rest. We have had kitten burials, a dramatic fish funeral, I think there was even one for an ant farm, but this will be one that stays with all of us. A pet that will never be forgotten, a real member of our family. We love you Rain!

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First Day of Spring

I have not written a blog in quite a while so it seems fitting that I would choose to write today, the first day of Spring.  I have a few times that I wrote about the rain, or even my own name in relation to the season itself, but Spring is my favorite time of the year. There is something so refreshing about the way that the earth has its own rebirth, making all seem fresh and new. We feel it so much as individuals, that we too, have a Spring Cleaning ritual, the talk of Summer coming and needing to renew our gym association for those upcoming bathing suit days. Be it our homes, our bodies, or our lives, the world takes on the importance of washing away the old and preparing for the new. This is important for all of us, although I don’t know that we always realize it. We take part in it for New Year Resolutions but many find those cliche, I admit that I don’t make New Years resolutions but we all unknowingly participate in the beginning of Spring.

For many it may be unintentional but we all need a chance to change or reevaluate what didn’t work the past year and start anew. The changing of the season with all its new growth helps us to do that, although many unfortunately don’t take notice of their surroundings. The beauty in our every day life that truly makes us who we are, but with such undeserved recognition. I need to spend moments outside everyday, I thrive off the sights and smell of nature. I make sure that my children spend at least 30-60 minutes outside each day, longer when the weather is warmer. I hope that they will grow to love it as I do and share the inspiration with those around them.

Today I woke to the sound of rain and although I love the rain, I was initially saddened. It seems that winter is lasting a little longer this year and I miss my warm, sunny days.  Taking a moment to enjoy the freshly washed black top and listen to the droplets fall from the leaves of the tree, I could see the buds on the branches that need the water to bloom; to look like the tree across the street with the many white blossoms glistening like snowflakes against the deep blue in the sky. Next to it was the tree that I swear looked bare yesterday but now was a radiant green with new leaves adorning its stems. My grass was deeper, the soil darker for the flowers I know are to come in the next few weeks.

We have the benefit of spending each day living in an ever changing painting of life and we too, as people need to remember that our own lives are not singular but part of a constant fluidity that makes the world go round. Don’t let any moment of the beauty of the world, others or yourself pass you by.  Spring is just the beginning!

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Our Truest Life

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams… Awake.”

I heard this quote by Henry David Thoreau just the other day and couldn’t help but ponder on how brilliant a statement it was and wonder why we, society, fail to realize how truly “good” life really is.  We are headed into the New Year of 2018, so like most I am reflective as well as focused on the future.  I would like to say that this year has been unusual for me, but I tend to live my life on the road less traveled; however, I can admit that this was an unexpected Christmas.  I was not focused on the holiday because my boys were going to be with their father this year, until 3 days before Christmas and plans changed.  I was rushing around like a crazy lady, trying to create Christmas Magic in our home to give a memory to remember.  What I failed to realize was that I was so focused on the commercial aspect that I didn’t stop to give real meaning to the day.  Please don’t misunderstand, I only gave the boys two gifts each and the continual reminder of why we celebrate Christmas, but as a mother, in not planning on them being here with me, I felt stressed and uneasy on not being prepared.  (It’s a Mommy thing) Christmas came and went, the boys seemed to be grateful and happy.

The feelings for me have carried over as we prepare to celebrate the upcoming New Year.   Always a difficult time of the year because my cousin, Sarah, passed on that witching hour, what I have come to realize was 5 years ago.  She holds a special place in my heart as my first girl cousin, and we had recently began to reconnect as I made plans to move back to Fresno that same year.  She was too young, too beautiful, and her children are only raised by the great memories we share so that they may know and remember their mother.  Then I think on my mother that passed a short year later and how I was blessed with having her for my entire childhood.  This weighs heavy on my heart and then I read through social media to find friends suffering the same burdens.  Many are grieving for past loved ones, some fresh and new.  The hands of time do not stop for the holidays, life is an unexpected blessing and we need to cherish it as such.

This brings me back to the quote.  Our Truest Life…. I love that word True.  What is it that makes or gives you, your truest life?  For me it would be Love.  I fail in so many ways every day, but as long as I can put my sons to bed knowing that they feel secure in my love, then I feel accomplished.  Certainly, I want to provide more for them; to Live our Dream, Awake, but until that day, I need to learn to Cherish Every Moment.  To quit focusing on the details, to see that every minute I spend stressing the small stuff, they are growing older and days are passing me by.

With this New Year, I want to make a Resolution or an Affirmation, that I will See the Bigger Picture, Focus on the Dream, but take Time in the Moments!  If I only live for a brighter future, I may miss the journey it took to get there and that is really where the greatness lies.  For these boys, I am their world and for some reason, I never understood what a true blessing that is….. I always felt that this responsibility was often an overwhelming burden more then blessing.  Some may read that and find me callous and shallow, but I also know that there are plenty of mothers for which that statement will ring true.

For 2018, I challenge each of us to take on our burdens and bare them as blessings.  To achieve our dreams wide awake, so that each day may be joy unto itself.  Take pleasure in all things, big or small, positive or negative…..  because in this life the only thing certain is the uncertainty of each day.  It can always be better or it can always be worse…. Essentially it is what you make it, so make it the best it can be!

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Gift of Life

In the last few weeks we have been suffering with multiple tragedies as a Nation, many disastrous events in our own Country.  For some of you these were literally in your own backyard, or like me, you had loved ones that were affected or involved so it hits closer to home.  I had friends trapped by the flooding in Texas during Hurricane Harvey, and family in Florida forced to endure days without power during Hurricane Irma.  My Aunt and Uncle were among the mass of people at the Route 91 concert in Las Vegas, fortunate to escape.  I am grateful that everyone I know personally is safe by all accounts in all these situations; however there are many victims and families of victim’s still enduring loss, fear, pain.  Scrolling through social media the posts were at first full of shock and wonder at how the world could be so evil, but quickly escalated to an uprising in anger, judgment and condemnation.  Close friends are literally posting hateful posts with words like “Delete Me, If you don’t like my Opinion” and/or the equivocal “Our opinions differ; I am right so you must be wrong!”  Or a few have gone on a rant, spewing expletives and casting blame, all which is unnecessary.  Instead of coming together as a people, we divide, taking sides in a controversy that will never be won.  Political Agendas, Conspiracy Theories, Protests for Social Injustice, and a fight for Amendment Rights has caused such a rift amongst friends, brothers, co-workers, that  we are literally creating the groundwork for another civil war.  The animosity tears at my soul so that I actively seek out the good to balance myself, to restore my hope in humanity.  Let the benevolence of the helpers, professional or community driven, outweigh the disheartened.  Take comfort in the patience of those that stood in line for hours to donate blood for the victims. Literally giving the Gift of Life, because when it comes right down to it, WE ALL BLEED THE SAME BLOOD!  When donating or receiving there is no box to check for race, ethnicity, nationality, or political affiliation.  We are simply a Blood Type and all humans share that common factor.  Our world is built on diversity and inclusion, meaning differences and embracement; it is why we are proud to be Americans. Yes, there are race relations and social justices, all deserving of their own discussion, but for now, let’s learn how to embrace our diversion with dignity.  In the wake of the horrific events that are still unfolding, let us be kind to one another.  Mr. Rogers says it best, “It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out. It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.”

― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

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Leader of Your Own Life

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more – You are a Leader.”   –John Quincy Adams

This quote by our 6th President of the United States is my entire blog in one sentence. It really is that simple when you realize that we lead by example so be the kind of leader that you would follow.  One that inspires you to find your inner greatness and encourages you to think outside the box, to test the limits.

A true leader is not there to create more followers but to create more leaders. Empower those around you, essentially empowering yourself to be the leader of your own life. It is a give and take relationship, about communication and collaboration. Leadership is about serving others to the point where they want to follow you.

If you think that you are leading but turn around to see that no one is behind you, then you are just taking a walk. Most likely have taken a detour in your own life and need to stop and regroup. Leading is synonymous with Learning, they go hand in hand and we learn from those that surround us. It is essential to have a team that will inspire and motivate you as you Lead the way, not because you are stronger or greater, but because you have more ambition and drive.

The Strongest people are those who use life’s difficulties to become Better not Bitter. It only takes one person to make a change that leads to a chain reaction of others willing to make a difference. Be a Leader to Inspire, Educate, and Change the Generation, essentially changing the World for the Better.

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Neverending Journey

Do any of us actually reach our final destination?  I hope not, as even in our passing or final resting place, I can only hope that our purpose will continue to live on and inspire others.  As we come into Memorial Day Weekend and I think of our fallen men and women that have given their lives for our country, I can only find it fitting that today is the 81st Anniversary of the RMS Queen Mary’s first international crossing from Southampton to New York.  A year ago, I shared my amazing experience as a guest for her 80th Anniversary Celebration of this iconic maiden voyage and this blog is inspired by the social media posts that I am seeing to remind me of such a glorious weekend.

However, my viewpoint of this day, this weekend is more vast then I originally ever credited and I feel the need to share my thoughts with you.  This ship holds a special place in my heart for many reasons and in getting to know her, I most admire her service to this country during WWII.  In my research, I agree with Sir Winston Churchill that laid claim to his opinion that had it not been for her continued transports of troops we may not have won that war.  This December will be the 50th anniversary of Queen Mary’s final docking in Long Beach, Calif.

However, I do not find this to be her final destination because her journey continues in educating the masses in world history.  She unfortunately had the military honor of bringing men that may not have been able to walk themselves down the gangplank as they reached home soil, but their story was not over….. for their final destination gave birth to a story to be told for history.  Their lives mattered, so much so that we continue to celebrate their lives and sacrifice today.

The books and movies that we read or view don’t give justice to all that they encountered, but they do give us hope and should encourage us to strive for greatness in all that we do.  In actuality what comes to my mind is the Core Values that were instilled within me as a member of our Armed Forces and I hope to Inspire in Others …Integrity first, Service before self, and Excellence in all we do. These are the Air Force Core Values.

What it breaks down to is that the journey is never over.  Little by little, Step by step, Move forward, Always move forward……  Reach that Goal, That Destination, but don’t ever stop, for once you recognize that the Journey is never over… you will realize that it was never about you in the first place.  Our lives exist for our future generations.  Leave a good Legacy and appreciate the lives that have journeyed before you.

My mission is to Fly, Fight, and Win. I am faithful to a Proud Heritage, A Tradition of Honor, And a Legacy of Valor. I am an American Airman. Guardian of Freedom and Justice, My Nation’s Sword and Shield, Its Sentry and Avenger.

airman’s creed – AF.mil

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Something About May…..

“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”  

(William Shakespeare)

 I think that Shakespeare understood a better part of himself then most of us…… wise enough to realize that we may finally understand our inner beings but aware that the future is never fully known.  I am just now learning to embrace this fact in my life.  If you follow my personal page on Facebook then you may have seen that I am focusing on renewing the better part of myself.   Started out simple – back to those early morning Gym workouts, watching what I eat and drink, being that Summer is just around the corner.  However, I then had to take a deeper introspective look into the other areas of my life and realized that I am Happy with the Me that I Am today.  Of course, no one is perfect and there is always room for improvement, but what was it that I really wanted to change……?    I know that there is still so much more that I need and want to do which means … Focus, Clarity, Productivity!

There is just something about May; One of my favorite months, the rebirth of the earth as we bring in Spring.  Like that old nursery rhyme…. “April Showers Bring May Flowers” I want to shower my life with colorful flowers and the best way that I know to do that is to dedicate myself to the month of May.  It is vitally important to me that I am an example of accomplishing the seemingly impossible to my boys and within that I strive to #BeInspiredtoInspire and what better way to do that then to see the beauty within myself and all areas of my life.  I believe in the #LawofAttraction so I will continue to focus on all that is good and pure in the world.  

It is not about yesterday or tomorrow but today….. the time is now and you are in control of all that you desire.  New Month. New Beginning. New Mindset.  New Focus. New Start.  New Intentions. New Results.  May we all represent this month with a show of our personal growth as we spring into action!  Happy May Day!

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Blog No. 51

I know that for many 50 blogs does not seem like much cause for celebration but it is for me.  Writing is something that I love to do but I struggle to maintain blogging on a routine basis.  I continue to remain hopeful that I will get better at feeling comfortable blogging more regularly.  However the last few weeks I have been very busy and have not made time to focus.  I wanted to make sure not to be distracted as I was able to finally get my Copyright and registered with the Writers Guild of America West.  It felt surreal as it verified for me that I am an official author.  This came on the Wings of another accomplishment for our little family.  After two years of being in the business and having the boys managed by Young Performers Management, we were also able to secure representation for Cristian and Alex with SALT Agency in Los Angeles.  Cris has worked diligently for this opportunity and I am so incredibly proud of him.

I have a feeling that our lives are in full swing and I am dedicated to this forward momentum for all of us.  It may mean big changes and a big move but I know that we are ready, I can only hope that Los Angeles is ready for all of us.

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Dedication, Consistency, Restoration

Happy 2017!  I have never been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, choosing instead to constantly push myself towards the positive which ultimately means changes occur within my life all year long.  One of those, I am dedicating to the New Year and that is stated within the above picture.  I am committing myself to posting a new blog each and every Wednesday.  This may not seem like much of a challenge to many of you, but I posted in July of 2015, titled Worst Blogger Ever, because I recognized that consistently writing on the blog is difficult for me.  It is not that I don’t write, or have anything to say, it is simply taking the time to make it worthy for my readers.  I struggle with knowing that the content that I put out is intriguing enough to be shared.  

I made a personal choice this Holiday Season as I sat down and evaluated what changes I need to make within my personal and business life so that I truly can #BeInspiredToInspire.  I realized that I was finding myself in a rut.  I have been focused on the novel, turn screenplay, Brides Aweigh and in order not to distract myself from this unbelievable opportunity, I’ve stepped back from a lot of my free writing and I believe that this has unfortunately separated me from my blog.  However, that is not good for me, nor my followers.  It disconnects me not only from my readers but also from myself.  

Writing for me is my way of finding ME Time in the midst of being a Full Time Single Mother of 4 Beautifully Busy Boys.  I have adult conversations by sharing my blog with the world even if it is only for a few minutes a day and I owe it to myself to stay Dedicated and Consistent in order to Restore myself to remaining AutumnBrookeOnline.  I was inspired to start up this blog on the continued request of my mother.  She told me repeatedly that my life was full of enough fodder to maintain a blog and it wasn’t about the content as long as I was writing.  So, with that being said and by sharing this post, I am dedicating myself to all of you and me too.  I will trust that you will hold me accountable by checking in every Wednesday to see if I have indeed succeeded in Sharing My Words; Heart, Mind, & Soul with all of you.  Here is the First for this Weds of our New Year…….

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John Grisham – #GiveaBook

#GiveaBook

Grisham says give a book for Christmas.  Yes, that is the John Grisham, the best-selling author of one or more books a year after his first publication in 1989, with A Time to Kill.  Then leading the Best-Seller List of all 1991 with The Firm, that’s 35 books with this year’s newest release, The Whistler, and if that wasn’t impressive enough, 9 of these books were made into major motion pictures.  As an aspiring writer with dreams of reaching the masses with my own feature film adaptation based off my novel, I listen when Grisham speaks, or in this case, I read when he writes.  I’ve always been a fan, but I can admit I started to pay more attention when he ‘Liked’ an Instagram post of mine (I was ecstatic), then to see that he ‘Followed’ me (I was on Cloud Nine.)  It actually encouraged me to buckle down and pay more mind to what I was writing and posting.

I claim my writing as words of heart, mind, and soul.  I don’t stick to one specific theme in my blogs, instead choosing to write by what weighs on my mind.  My voice to the world in an effort to inspire, motivate, and educate.  I hold myself accountable to how what I write may influence others and the fact that these words are forever more a part of history once posted.  It was with this thought that I saw the above image shared on Instagram by Grisham and knew that was ‘it.’  I reached out to the Grisham Team for permission to share his image and was even emailed a better resolution copy.  (I may have danced around my kitchen at such personal acknowledgement.)

Now comes the hard part, to write a blog worthy of sharing his words, with very little to add as Grisham pretty much says it all, “Give a Book for Christmas.”  The 10 listed reasons are more than enough, but for me, I advocate book giving because of the educational benefits.  I’m known for gifting books or gift cards to bookstores; is there really a better gift?  When you give a book as a gift, you are investing in the future.  Promoting an increased knowledge in comprehension skills, spelling ability, and imagination.

Take time to give the best gift of the season, the opportunity to travel the world in multiple time periods or dimensions.  To lose yourself in another life, spawning new career opportunities that may never have been considered had it not been for that one year, that one specific book was placed under the tree.

          Invest in future generations providing promises of unlimited potential, in hope that they dare to dream and realize that nothing is impossible.

 

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